Fortuna
by 1458
Summary: In a world where Iemitsu valued famiglia over family, Tsuna would be left in Namimori with Nana, only seeing his father once in a blue moon. In that world, Xanxus would become the head of the Varia and Reborn would be eventually sent to train Tsuna into becoming Decimo. This is not that world. (Un)fortunately. Idiotic-father!Iemitsu AU.
1. Tsuna enters the world hungry

Sawada Tsunayoshi has no luck.

Why?

Because even though he was born under an insanely lucky star, he was also born under an equally unlucky one. It balanced out.

(Un)fortunately.

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.

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Today was the happiest day in Sawada Iemitsu's life.

"You can do it, Nana darling! Push! Push! You're almost there-"

"Iemitsu." Nana gasped.

"Yes, honey? What-"

"Shut up."

Don't mess with a woman while they are giving birth.

...

"Congratulations, Nana-san, Iemitsu-san. You have a healthy son."

Nana took the child from the doctor, absolutely glowing with happiness. "Look, Iemitsu~ He's adorable!"

She didn't need to bother. The young lion of Vongola had completely melted into goo. "Daaaaaww" He gently brushed Tsuna's face with his fingers. The baby grabbed a finger and began to drool over it. Iemitsu mentally exploded.

"Tsunayoshi." Nana gently brushed his head. "May you be blessed with the greatest of luck and the strongest of bonds." Tsuna gurgled. "Welcome to the world, Tsunayoshi."

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Bond #1

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On October 14 19XX, Sawada Tsunayoshi saw the world for the first time.

Or rather, he saw the hospital room, a few doctors, and nurses, an exhausted but overjoyed Nana and a mentally-broken-due-to-cuteness-overload Iemitsu. Close enough.

He didn't know who or where he was or anything else for that matter. He only knew one thing.

He was hungry.

So he kept hold of the closest thing that touched him, which happened to be Iemitsu's shirt.

(Un)fortunately.

...

Tsuna was a prodigy, a child genius... at religiously following his instincts.

He never quite understood these instincts but he knew, with every inch of his being, that they were never wrong.

(With 'right' having various meanings.)

And these instincts led him to make the following ironic association:

No weird-looking-blond-man = no food

Ironic in a sense that it was always his mother who fed him. His father just happened to be also in the room every time. Well... not exactly 'just happened to be', but more in the sense of the fact that the baby latched onto his shirt every single time he was fed. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And Sawada Iemitsu, the Young Lion of Vongola, head of CEDEF and External Adviser to the strongest and bloodiest mafia Famiglia in the world, had no defenses against cuteness.

He lost before he even entered the battlefield.

...

Iemitsu dutifully stayed by his wife's side throughout the first week of Tsuna's existence.

Of course he did.

He didn't have much time after all.

As much as Iemitsu wanted to stay with his wife and son forever, he kind of had a mafia famiglia to run. He kind of had stacks of paperwork waiting for him and kind of had missions he needed to deal with. In other words, he was kind of really busy.

At the end of the first week, the fantasy had to end...

"I'm sorry Nana. I need to get back to work."

Sawada Nana was a very understanding and passive woman. She had to be, or else she wouldn't have had married Iemitsu in the first place.

So she simply smiled sadly and nodded. "Alright. I love you, darling."

Iemitsu kissed her. "I love you too. I'll call you soon."

Sawada Tsunayoshi was neither understanding nor passive. Why would he be? His food was leaving.

And that was how Iemitsu found his son's tiny hands clenched on his shirt like a parasite. A brief tug from the shirt's owner started the waterworks.

"Son, it's alright. I'll come back soon." The new father, not wanting to hurt his son, was unwilling to use any more force to free himself. He hopelessly looked over to his wife for help.

Sawada Nana was a very understanding and passive woman. She understood what would happen if she left the father and son duo be and passively feigned sleeping.

The first battle Iemitsu lost in decades was against his son. It was a battle he would continue to lose for the rest of his life.

The Young Lion of Vongola did not go back.

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 _(In a world where Tsuna held onto something else, Iemitsu would have left.)_

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Bond #2

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"YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?"

"Master, I am so glad you are alright."

"Why did you ignore all our calls? We thought something happened to you."

Lal Mirch, Tumeric and Oregono fell silent as Iemitsu held a finger over his lips and continued to cradle his son. Tsuna squirmed slightly but (un)fortunately didn't wake up and cry.

"I am a father now."

Lal rolled her eyes. "Yes, we can see that. Now get back to work."

Iemitsu held his son tighter. "I am a father now."

Tumeric saw the vein almost popping on Lal's head and decided to step up before it explodes. "Master, you are also the Young Lion of Vongola, boss of CEDEF. We need you."

"You know, in the wild, male lions stayed back to care for the cubs while the females hunted."

"..." Oregono and Tumeric quickly took the baby from an unwilling Iemitsu's arms and hurried out of the room, gently closing the door behind them.

Lal erupted.

...

The failed rain arcobaleno headed downstairs after her lava cooled, leaving Iemitsu behind in an indescribable mess.

"Ara, you must be Lal-san. Thank you for taking care of my husband."

Lal nodded back. Sawada Nana did not even bat an eye at her infant state. She was either a very good actress or an accepting fool. Judging by Iemitsu's description of her, she was probably the latter.

"The three of you are here to take Iemitsu back, right?" The woman hummed. She knew this would happen sooner or later. "I'm sorry that he's so difficult sometimes."

The rest of Lal's fire died. While she had never personally witnessed it, she was certain that taking care of a child was very difficult. Much more so alone. "I'll make sure he comes back soon."

"Thank you." Nana smiled genuinely before sitting onto the floor, baby still cradled in her arms. "Would you like to hold Tsu-kun?"

"I'd rather not." Lal shuffled awkwardly, gesturing her small stature. "I might drop him."

"Nonsense. I trust you, Lal-san."

Trust wasn't the issue- The infant found a baby, only slightly smaller than herself, in her arms seconds later.

The baby was still asleep, unconsciously cuddling against her cheek for more warmth.

(It would be important to note that this was the first time Lal Mirch had held a genuine baby in her life.

The Combusin trainer stared at the tiny bundle of life in her arms. Life at its most vulnerable stage.

Something awoke within her.

(Un)fortunately.)

.

 _(In a world_ _where Tsuna burst into tears and wailed loudly, Lal would have become highly irritated and dragged Iemitsu off immediately.)_

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Bond #3

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The next time Iemitsu woke up, he was again staring straight into an infuriated Lal Mirch's eyes.

"L-lal?" The cowardly lion stuttered.

Lal stared at him with disgust. "Sawada Iemitsu. Why did you give birth to a child when you are clearly not ready?" She growled. "You should have been more than aware of the consequences of your actions. You are the leader of CEDEF. You don't have time to raise a child."

Iemitsu turned solemn. "I know. I just wanted Nana to be happy. I didn't want her to be alone when I was gone."

"You are a stubborn fool. Did you forget about the burden of raising a child? All alone? Even if you provide her financial support, she would still have a hard time. Not to mention Tsunayoshi will grow up essentially without a strong fatherly figure in his life. Is that what you wanted?"

The man groaned, head falling into his arms. "...What should I do, Lal?"

"Stop being such a fool."

...

"Nana!"

Everyone watched as Iemitsu walked into the room, a very determined look in his eyes.

His wife momentarily hugged Tsuna a bit tighter before setting him down in his cradle. She smiled knowingly. "Are you leaving now? Have a safe trip."

The man continued his stride right up to his wife. He held her shoulders. "Let's move to Italy."

This took Nana by complete surprise. "Italy?"

Oregono and Tumeric were also just as confused. "Boss?"

"It's only going to be temporary." The head of CEDEF continued, ignoring the looks he was receiving. "My work, I am the CEO of a company in Italy so I can't quit right now, but I will after I get a suitable replacement. We can move right back here afterward. It will only take a few years at most."

"I..." Nana needed a moment to digest this information. "I would love to move to Italy, but..." She sheepishly smiled. "I don't know any Italian."

Iemitsu smiled broadly and kissed his wife. "Oregono, Tumeric and Lal will help you when I am not around. Tumeric, go prepare a flight for tomorrow. Oregono, help Nana pack." He let go of Nana after giving her another hug. "Tuna-fishy~" He picked up his son and began spinning the baby around in the room. "Guess what? You're going to Italy!"

Tsuna didn't care less where he was going or what Italy was. He just knew that he was feeling very dizzy and wanted it to stop. And so he feebly grabbed on to his father's hands for stability.

Somehow, the dumb lion of Vongola took that as a sign of agreement. He cuddled his face against his son's. "Yes! Italy!"

All this time, Lal Mirch stayed uncharacteristically silent.

* * *

 **AN: Experimental fic. I have a couple plot bunnies but I'm not too sure how to proceed. W/e. It will be fun either way.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next up:** Iemitsu storms into Vongola with his resignation letter in hand.

Edit: There were a few minor things that I wanted to change, mostly language.


	2. Iemitsu plans his resignation as adviser

When asked to reflect on his actions that day, Iemitsu would simply smile like an idiot and claim that everything had gone just as planned.

Of course, he, like everyone else, knew that it couldn't be further from the truth.

Sawada Tsunayoshi was the sole person to blame for the events that transpired on that day.

(Un)fortunately.

…

Contrary to popular belief, Iemitsu actually had a plan. He even made it with Lal.

The plan was to search up a perfect replacement as the head of CEDEF, do thorough research on the potential external adviser and present his case to Vongola Nono. Iemitsu was going to do this professionally. By the book. Just like how the founder of CEDEF dictated.

The first hitch in the plan came in the form of Tsuna's needs.

Having accepted the reality that he was a dad and that he will become the best dad in the world, Iemitsu refused to leave him alone when Nana was busy or asleep. The man played with the baby day and night.

He even gave himself self-induced jetlag to match Nana's sleeping schedule.

(The young lion of Vongola called it dedication towards his goal as #1 Dad. Lal Mirch called it unnecessary stupidity.)

Since Iemitsu was basically useless, the role of seeking a perfect replacement fell to the hands of Lal Mirch.

The failed arcobaleno was never known for doing anything halfheartedly. Within a week, she came back to Iemitsu with three names in a folder, along with each of their life histories.

All Iemitsu had to do was choose one and memorize the basic information.

…

The second hitch in the plan came in the form of Tsuna's cuteness.

This one is the easiest to explain.

To put simply, Iemitsu was so distracted that he wasn't able to even read properly, much less memorize.

(Actually, it was also probably due to his poor sleeping habits which hindered his cognitive ability, but blaming it on Tsuna's cuteness was easier to explain and much more relatable.)

And so, the head of CEDEF (somewhat) read through the files and (arbitrarily) chose one.

He may or may not have used a random number generator.

…

The third hitch in the plan came in the form of Tsuna's (undiscovered) intuition. To be more accurate, his survival instinct.

Food is leaving again! Must hold onto shirt! Zzzz!

The above basically summed up the events that happened on the morning that Iemitsu was planning to go meet Nono.

Not one to stray from the plan, Iemitsu decided to take his sleeping son with him. Not that he had much of a choice.

Aside from the fact that the young lion didn't want to leave his son in the first place, Tsuna had become well acquainted with the CEDEF boss ring hung on a chain around Iemitsu's neck.

It had become his makeshift pacifier.

(This was the same ring that Alaude commissioned for during the founding of CEDEF.

The prominent ring was now being sucked on and slobbered all over with baby drool.)

Anyways, that was the state of the young lion of Vongola as he drew near the Vongola mansion.

Sawada Iemitsu isn't mindless or impulsive. He was very aware of the danger he would put his son in if he simply strolled through the main gates like he owned the place.

There could be spies anywhere.

And so, the External adviser strolled to an area not covered by the security cameras and broke in.

The details of how he broke into the house of the strongest mafia famiglia in the world would never be told to anyone. All people knew was that it might have involved a complicated process that had flames and some cultish ritual.

Since Iemitsu knew the Vongola mansion just as well as the CEDEF buildings, he strategically twisted and turned through the secret passages until he reached the private quarters. Nono should be in his office at this time, which is connected to a hidden hallway from the closet of a certain private guestroom (details will remain undisclosed).

This is the best way to get to Nono with as few witnesses as possible. The only people who frequented the private quarters at this time were Nono's sons and their closest servants and maids.

It would be fine if they saw Tsuna. The external adviser knew the names and families of these people by heart. He could easily silence them if he had to.

So the plan was simple. Head to Timeteo, announce his successor and then retire.

…

The fourth hitch in the plan came in the form of Tsuna's curiosity.

(This was the only part where it was actually the child's fault and not because of his obsessed father.)

The baby had long awoken while his father was climbing around the tunnels. He stared at the whizzing scenery quietly. Tsuna wasn't hungry and this priceless artifact he was sucking on was distracting his mouth from making any noise. All in all, life's good. Even when his father stopped suddenly in front of three boys.

"External adviser."

Iemitsu waved with his free hand. "Hey Enrico, Massimo, and Federico. Back from school?"

"It's Sunday." The eldest boy stepped forward and stared at the bundle in Iemitsu's arms. "Where did you kidnap that from?"

"Haha, this is my son." The young father held his son next to his face. "Can't you see the resemblance?"

No, not at all. However, Enrico politely smiled and nodded. Behind him, Massimo followed the eldest and nodded as well while Federico looked genuinely uncertain.

Tsuna blinked once and continued munching the ring.

"Well work hard on your training, young men. I need to meet with your father. Ciao."

The walls then continued to fly by. The same mahogany colour with sporadic lights catching Tsuna's attention and — oh my gosh what was that?

Iemitsu stopped and stared in his arms as he heard his son suddenly make a sound. The baby was staring to the side of the hall, hands outstretched as if in attempts to grab ahold of something. The man followed his child's gaze.

"Oh hey, Xanxus."

The boy was alone. He was trying to make himself unnoticeable when he saw the lion charge down the hallway. That idea was ruined by the baby.

"External adviser." Xanxus frowned. He wanted to spend the rest of his day alone in peace. (Un)fortunately for him, Tsuna had other plans.

The child was fixated on the colourful feathers hung around Xanxus' neck, which the older boy wore as part of his voyage for self-discovery.

(The feathers were actually there less as a fashion statement and more of a childish attempt to rebel against his teachers and family. Either way, no one was brave enough to tell Xanxus how ridiculous he looked with the oversized feathers hung all over himself.)

Iemitsu knelt down to the boy, following his son's demanding gestures. "Tsunayoshi, this is Xanxus. Xanxus, this is my son."

Tsuna continued to reach towards the boy. Not wanting his son to fall out of his arms by accident, Iemitsu lowered his son until he was in arm's reach of Xanxus' face.

Xanxus froze, unsure what to do when the baby began patting his face with tiny soft hands. Normally, he would flee, but the aura Iemitsu was giving him promised death if his son didn't get what he wanted.

As for the baby, he only had a few thoughts in mind.

Oooooh colourful. Oooooh soft. Oooooh.

Tsuna gurgled happily, historical artifact still in his mouth and hands still all over Xanxus' face.

Just when the confused boy thought his day couldn't get stranger, the man began cooing. "Awwww Tsuna likes you."

Then Xanxus did something he never thought he would do in his entire life.

He flushed in embarrassment.

Which only made Iemitsu coo even louder.

(In Xanxus' defense, it was natural that he would flush. He had never been told that he was liked before.

His mother was too concerned with surviving.

His father was too busy with his work.

His brothers were threatened by his mere presence.

His servants were all jealous of his status.

All in all, this was basically the first time Xanxus was told that he was wanted. Even if it by was simply mere speculation of a child's actions.

...This feeling was kind of nice.)

While Xanxus was doing an internal analysis of his current feelings, Iemitsu was quickly reminded of his mission via text message from Lal.

"Sorry Tsuna, daddy is in a hurry. You can play with Xanxus later." He looked at Xanxus and smiled. "Come visit Tsuna anytime. He likes you a lot."

The whine and hand reaching towards Xanxus' face even as Iemitsu pulls the child away made the lion's offhand comment seem almost believable.

Meanwhile, Tsuna was unhappy that he couldn't touch the feathers anymore. He cried out. (Finally letting go of Alaude's pride and joy.)

The son's cry made the father cry. "Tuna-fish! I'm sorry! You can play with Xanxus a bit longer. Papa can wait. Don't cry, Tsuna..."

Iemitsu wasn't one to deny his son.

Xanxus wasn't one to deny someone who clearly likes him.

(In his excitement, the boss of the CEDEF completely forgot about everything he read about his potential successors. Including their names.

(Un)fortunately.)

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 _(In a world where Tsuna did not aggressively interfere with Iemitsu's plan, Xanxus would have developed daddy issues and turned delinquent.)_

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Bond #4

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Timeteo was peacefully signing documents when Iemitsu suddenly waltzed in from the secret passage behind a painting, cradling a pouting Tsunayoshi.

(The young lion of Vongola entered the battlefield against Vongola Nono without any plan. Well, he technically had one, but it was no longer salvageable.

(Un)fortunately.)

"Nono, I'm retiring."

The Vongola don actually dropped his pen. "My, that took me by surprise." Regaining his composure, Timoteo picked his pen up and put it back into place. "And that would be your new child, I presume?"

Iemitsu's smile glowed like a beacon. "This is Tsunayoshi, my adorable little Tuna-fish. Isn't he the cutest?" Walking over to the father and baby, Nono smiled at the tiny bundle of life. "Yes, he is adorable." Looking up, he met Iemitsu's eyes with a very serious expression. "It's wonderful that you would want to spend more time with your family, but you mustn't forget about your position-"

"That's why I'm retiring." Iemitsu cut him off, eyes shining a low glow of orange. "I will not endanger my family. It is either cutting contact with them or with the mafia. It is obvious what I would choose."

"..." Nono sighed. The young lion of Vongola had always been known for his stubbornness. If he made a decision, he would stick with it until the very end, no matter what the consequences were. "Iemitsu... you can't just abandon CEDEF. Who would lead it after you?"

Iemitsu shrugged, the orange in his eyes fading away. "We can get one of your sons to lead it. How about Xanxus? Xanxus is very promising. Even my son likes him. Let's go ask Xanxus."

"Xanxus is only 11."

"It's fine. I'll train him until he becomes an adult. Perfect! It's time to tell Xanxus." He promptly turned around and went back through the painting. "Xanxus!"

Nono gave a defeated sigh. While he couldn't deny that it was a good idea to get Xanxus into CEDEF, that idea itself seems so farfetched that it was downright bizarre. Seriously, what are the chances that the stubborn boy would even agree?

...

Being born in the slums, Xanxus had the intelligence to take full advantage of his benefits as a son of Vongola Nono.

The boy studied. Hard.

He was by no means a child genius. However, he was intuitive and was determined to be successful in life. Hence his dedicated efforts in studying, taking in everything his tutors said.

Timeteo should have had these traits in mind when he let Iemitsu talk to the boy.

Especially since his fourth child was in the middle of his rebellious phase.

"Sure."

Nono blinked twice. "Are you certain, Xanxus?"

Xanxus rolled his eyes. "Old man, I can make my own decisions by now."

"But you would need to leave home and stay with Iemitsu."

"How old do you think I am?" Fathers are so annoying. "And leaving this place sounds like a terrific idea. Anything to get away from the jerk and the idiot."

"Xanxus, respect your brothers."

"Whatever." The boy shrugged. "Besides, if I don't take this opportunity I would remain as a pawn for the rest of my life." He snorted. "That is unless something unfortunate happens to those three."

Timoteo narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice to a warning tone. "Xanxus."

"Sorry. Either way, I wouldn't want to join a blood feud to kill my own brothers and I definitely do not want to be ordered around by any of them. So being the next boss of CEDEF sounds like the best alternative to me."

"But Xanxus-"

"Old man. I believe this is a decision between the lion and myself. Unless Vongola has jurisdiction over the next leader of CEDEF, your opinions are irrelevant."

Xanxus was very promising indeed.

.

 _(In a world where the plan was actually followed, Timoteo would have wholeheartedly supported Iemitsu's decision.)_

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* * *

 **AN: Well that came up longer than expected. Welp.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next up:** Xanxus becomes the Sawada babysitter. Interlude.


	3. Basil gets a well-thought name

There were very few people who could make Lal Mirch speechless. Sawada Iemitsu was one of them.

The arcobaleno stared at the man, then the preteen next to the man, then finally the CEDEF ring hung around the preteen's neck.

"Iemitsu." Lal's voice was a chilling calm. She kept a steady hand on Tsuna's cradle, rocking it back and forth slowly. "What happened to the plan."

The young lion shrugged with a foolish smile. He was kicked straight out the door seconds later.

Lal made a note to never make anymore plans for the man. She sighed, turning her attention to Xanxus. "What do you want to do?"

The new CEDEF boss turned and stared at Iemitsu's mangled body briefly before shrugging. He did not to end up like his predecessor did.

All this time, Nana was smiling happily, even as Lal sent her husband to another room violently. She clapped her hands together. "Xanxus-kun, are you in school?"

The boy shook his head slowly. "I'm homeschooled."

"Ara, that wouldn't do. You should try attending school. You might make some friends there!"

"Yes, yes you're going to attend school." Iemitsu somehow dragged himself back in. "We'll enroll you in next year. Before that, Lal and I will get you started on your training."

Xanxus nodded in acceptance. The reason why he remained homeschooled in the first place was because, judging by his brothers, the trash at school taught too slowly and probably sucked at teaching. However, with the weight of the ring around his neck, Xanxus no longer needed to study hard to get ahead. He had job security at the age of 11. He was willing to go to school for the sake of developing connections.

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* * *

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When Xanxus first started training, he was worried that he might end up becoming the child's babysitter. He quickly learnt... that it would probably never happen.

"Oi Lion, can't you put the kid down for one second?"

Both Iemitsu and Tsuna looked at Xanxus with matching pathetic faces. "But I just got him from Nana..."

"The baby needs to sleep after being fed. Can't you just put him down for a minute to sign this form?"

"You're telling me to put my cute Tuna-fish down? On the table?" Iemitsu clutched the child even tighter. "No."

Xanxus had obviously misplaced his worries. Rather than babysitting the child, he was babysitting the father instead. Seriously... "Give him to me."

"What? No, Tsunaaaaaa."

"I can't believe this is happening." For the first time in his life, Xanxus had the desire to ram his head into something. "I'll hold Tsunayoshi. Just give him to me until you finish your work." He held out his hands to take Tsuna.

Iemitsu looked at the hands then down to his child. Tsuna, very attracted to feathers, was already reaching his tiny arms out towards Xanxus'. "Tsuna, do you want to go to big brother Xanxus?"

The kid responded by moving his arms.

"D'awww. Ok, you can go to big brother Xanxus." Iemitsu cooed. Xanxus was starting to have serious reconsiderations of holding the child. "Ok, here you go." The child was gently put into Xanxus' arms. "Do not hurt him."

"..." Xanxus dumbly nodded. He should have realized this earlier but... he had absolutely no idea how to hold a baby. He stiffly looked down at his arms, not sure if it was ok to even move from his position.

Tsuna, completely unaware of Xanxus' internal panic, happily played with the feathers briefly before he yawned slightly. The child then snuggled into Xanxus' arms and promptly falling asleep. Being a baby was so easy.

Being a babysitter was not. "Iemitsu. Work."

Iemitsu sheepishly placed down his camera.

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* * *

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The idea hit the young lion of Vongola like a typhoon.

It was during Xanxus' shooting practice.

(Gun laws know nothing on Iemitsu. Xanxus was fitted with more artillery than most people have ever seen. The boy was even allowed to add decorations on the weapons. All at the age of 11.)

While training, Iemitsu noticed how the child in his arms was quietly staring at Xanxus' movements.

(Yes, he brought Tsuna to shooting practice. Though the only reason he did was because Xanxus was currently firing flames, not bullets.)

Most parents would be grateful that their child was silent while they worked. Most.

Sawada Iemitsu instead freaked out. "AAAAHHHHH!"

Xanxus flipped around and instantly pointed his gun at his instructor, looking at the room wildly. "What? What's wrong?"

"Tsuna!"

Seeing no danger anywhere, hell the three of them were the only ones in the room, Xanxus lowered his gun and walked towards the baby bag. "Did he leak again?"

Meanwhile, the father was staring at his son intently. "Tsuna! Are you bored?"

The baby blinked at him with his wide eyes.

Iemitsu somehow translated that action into the notion of agreement.

"I'm so sorry Tsuna! I am a terrible father! Please forgive me!" He turned to the confused Xanxus. "What did you do to entertain yourself as a child?"

A blink. "Uh…"

"Oh! I know!" The former head of CEDEF ran out the room. "Sorry Xanxus! Call Lal to sub in for me! I'll be back later!"

With that, Iemitsu abandoned his student and ran to the attic. His old stash of _Super Sentai_ videos should be in there somewhere.

...

While Xanxus had the CEDEF ring, he was understandably not recognized as the CEDEF boss.

(There had been no official announcement as of yet. They all agreed that the boy will only be announced as boss after he turned 16 at the very least.)

As such, Iemitsu still had full authority over everything that happens in CEDEF, all of the trainees and especially their training.

"…Pardon?"

The young lion of Vongola gave a proud smile, gesturing the screen and video they all just watched. The ending theme was muted, credits scrolling down slowly as if everything was still normal. "Now it's your turn."

"Um… master, what do you mean?" Tumeric, like everyone else, was more confused than ever. Boss had suddenly grabbed all the units in Tumeric's faction, sat them down in the room and played a live action superhero video.

"Your new training regime is to imitate everything you just saw on the screen." Iemitsu looked extremely proud of himself, switching the projected screen to show a powerpoint slide. "Some of you will be actors, others will be voice actors who would dub over the actors and the rest of you will be in charge of moving the set and anything else."

There was an obvious question on everyone's mind. "…Why?"

"It's training! This will be a team building exercise. You'll need to work together to entertain me." and my son. But since Tsuna was still a secret to nearly everyone, that was left unsaid. "If we are not entertained, you will have failed your training."

Tumeric nodded in understanding, being the only person present who knew of Tsunayoshi, but it still left him with one question. "Lal Mirch agreed?"

That only made Iemitsu smile even wider. "Yup! Now go pick a role out of this hat. Perfect this episode by the end of the week. The costumes are in that box."

The units were left by their boss with only the video they just watched and a couple of costumes. The script was never provided.

(Lal had stared at the man in utter disbelief when she first heard the proposal. However, after learning that the costumes had no eye holes, the look in her eyes turned feral. This assignment wasn't one of testing the soldier's capabilities to do stunts. The true value of this unusual task was to train the recruits into being able to convey what was in front of their teammates without saying it outright. If the trainees wanted to succeed, they will need to develop vocal and visual cues that only they would understand.

Sometimes Iemitsu's insane proposals were worth something after all.)

…

One week after, Xanxus was sitting behind a one-way mirror with Iemitsu, Nana, Tsuna and Lal, looking through the glass with absolute admiration. One after another, the teams performed their live action episode nearly flawlessly.

It amazed him how the men and women were willing to go along with the lion's crazy idea and actually pull something like that off.

Xanxus' respect for his mentor went up quite a lot of notches.

Were Iemitsu and Tsuna entertained? Of course they were.

Tsuna was gurgling happily, eyes following the jumping and the fighting and all of the cool effects.

Nana was giggling happily, so her darling was the CEO of a film company! This was amazing, no wonder he kept it a secret from her.

The husband and father was just as happy, happy that his son, wife and by looks of it, even his soldiers, were happy.

In fact, Iemitsu was so entertained by the results that… "Let's add this into their training permanently."

Both Lal Mirch and Xanxus did not voice any objections.

"I also want to try recreating animations."

Lal nodded. "Yes, that would allow for more source material for them to act out."

"Not acting, animating with flames." Iemitsu held the expression of a devious child. "It will help them train for flame control. And we have all the colours," He turned to Xanxus, "even orange."

(And that was why the recruits of CEDEF were all able to add acting, stunts, voice acting, prop making and flame puppets to their resume.

Eventually, Iemitsu did turn CEDEF into an acting company on the surface. It explained the guns more easily than a construction company.)

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* * *

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"May I keep it? Please?"

This was a very unusual scene to witness. Even Xanxus felt the same.

"That isn't a pet, teacher."

Lying between the CEDEF boss and his mentor was a baby wrapped in a blanket. Next to the baby was the basket that was carrying the child, a letter with a sob story was inside.

"But it doesn't have anywhere else to go!"

Xanxus wasn't sure why he was in such a situation, but he figured that he was doing the right thing judging by the approving look Lal was giving him.

"You already have Tsuna. You don't have time for another kid."

The current CEDEF boss was specifically taught by Lal that family was the only thing that could control Iemitsu's behaviour. Whether it be family or famiglia. Xanxus will use that information as well as he could.

"But Tsuna is the one who wants it! Look, he wants to play with his new friend!"

The child was indeed staring at the other baby, arms outstretched towards it. However…

.

20 minutes ago

Tsuna was merrily playing with a feather Xanxus had given him as his mother, Oregano and Tumeric shopped for groceries. All was going well for everyone, even as they left the mall.

Then suddenly, a gust of wind (un)fortunately blew the feather out of Tsuna's hand.

Nooooooo!

The child instantly squirmed, attempting to grab the feather back but alas, his arms were too short.

And so came the vocal demands for salvation.

Nana was quick to pull her baby out of the stroller. "What's wrong, Tsu-kun?"

Tsuna continued to cry. Hands waving towards the direction the feather flew.

Confused, the three adults followed where Tsuna led. Off the main street and down an alley.

Young Tsunayoshi stopped sobbing after he spotted his feather stuck to a blue blanket. He reached towards the feather-

"Ara! Why is there a baby here?"

Oregano picked the basket up. "I believe it was abandoned, Nana-san."

"Poor thing! We need to take it home."

Tumeric was understandably hesitant. "Nana-san, it would be exhausting for you to have another child. Master is also planning to expand Xanxus' training soon, he wouldn't have enough time for a second baby."

The young mother reluctantly nodded in agreement. "But we can still find it parents right?"

"Of course."

Unexpectedly, Tsuna all of the sudden cried out once more, hands waving wildly towards the basket.

Confused, Oregano took a step forward.

Tsunayoshi quieted immediately, big eyes pleading the woman carrying the basket.

All three of the adults blinked. Oregano took an experimental step back.

As expected, Tsuna cried out again.

"…Ara, Tsu-kun wants a sibling?"

No. Tsu-kun wants the feather.

"Perhaps we should ask master, I'm certain that he can accommodate for another child somehow."

Tsu-kun still wants the feather.

"Let's bring the baby back with us for now."

Why won't anyone give Tsu-kun the feather?!

.

That feather was still stuck on the baby's blanket. Xanxus plucked the feather out of the baby's blanket. He looked down, staring straight into Tsuna's frustrated eyes, and handed the feather to the kid.

Tsuna squealed with delight. Finally, someone with a brain decided to help him. With that, the boy crawled off, hands grasping the feather tightly this time.

Well, that was one Sawada taken care of. Xanxus looked up and actually sighed. Now for the other one.

"Let's say that Tsuna is the one who wants that kid," Which Xanxus highly doubted due to Tsuna's focus immediately shift from the baby to the feather in his hands. "Would you be willing to trade spending more time with your son with giving Tsuna a new friend/sibling/whatever?"

The look on Iemitsu's face was all Xanxus needed to know that the argument was turning in his favour. "…Then wouldn't it be fine as long as I am not the one raising the child?"

"Yes, that will be fine."

Iemitsu's eyes lit up after hearing his student's approval. He turned around. "Tumeric, Oregano, you are this kid's new daddy and mommy."

"W-what? Master?"

"Boss, we wouldn't have time either…!"

Their leader completely ignored their complaints and protests, instead merrily walking to towards his son. The boy was playing around with the newly bought groceries. "Tuna-fish~ Guess what, you have a new sibling! Meet…" Iemitsu paused, turning back to the child on the table. "What's its name? Actually, is that a boy or a girl?"

A quick check revealed that it was a boy. The letter mentioned nothing of a name.

"Oh. Tsuna, this is your new brother!" The young lion of Vongola glanced at his own boy, who was peering curiously at him while holding some basil leaves. "His name will be Basil. Tsuna, meet Basil!"

(The luckiest moment of Tsunayoshi's life was when Nana was given the reigns of choosing a name for him.)

And that was how Tumeric and Oregano found themselves the new parents of Basil.

.

 _(In a world where Tsuna did not lose his feather, Basil would have ended up in foster care.)_

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Bond #5

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* * *

 **AN: Wow, this chapter was quite productive. I'm not as satisfied as I wanted to with it but eh, might as well move on. I was going to give Basil his own chapter but couldn't think of anything more to write.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next up:** Iemitsu teaches Tsuna how to talk and starts gambling.


	4. Mammon begins to exploit Tsuna's luck

Iemitsu, like all doting parents, enjoyed taking his son out with him when he had to shop or run minor errands.

That incident happened on one such day.

Sawada Tsunayoshi's unique 'property' would have never been discovered had they not went to that place.

(Un)fortunately.

…

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and Iemitsu was taking Tsuna to the supermarket.

Had he driven straight to the market, everything would have been well and normal. However, being the doting father that he was, the young lion of Vongola instead decided to walk there carrying his son.

En route to the shopping centre was a strip mall. Being the keen father he was, Iemitsu took his child into every store and bought something to show Tsuna what services they provided.

(This was meant as an excessive way to teach Tsuna words. The kid had just begun talking and Iemitsu was having the time of his life.)

"This is a lottery office!" The lion carried his cub into the store, pointing at the huge logo on the wall. "You can buy lottery tickets here and try to win some money."

The boy quietly looked around, the huge colourful screens catching his attention. He wiggled his arms.

"Here son," Tsuna looked where Iemitsu was pointing. "Choose some numbers."

Tsunayoshi stared at the screen filled with a bunch of flashing numbers and began gesturing wildly.

(Iemitsu's experience as a mafioso had given him the ability to spot the tiniest of movements.

Iemitsu's experience as Tsuna's father had given him the ability to 'understand' those movements with utmost accuracy.

(Un)fortunately.)

…

The next thing that happened were a series of (un)fortunate coincidences.

First, Iemitsu had entered in Tsuna's ticket shortly before the draw took place that day.

Second, the father and son duo had been remembered by their lottery attendant due to the adorableness.

Third, there was a security camera that had captured the entire event.

And finally, Tsuna's ticket won the jackpot.

(Luckily for everyone, the young lion of Vongola had enough paranoia inside to disguise himself and his son. And use a fake ID.)

…

Lal Mirch paced around in frustration. "Sawada Iemitsu, you are an idiot."

Xanxus agreed. He shook his head once more as he stared at the newspapers on the table. On the front page of all of them was a large picture of the father and his child. Everyone wanted to know who won the huge jackpot. "Didn't you want to keep a low profile for the sake of Tsuna?"

"I wasn't expecting to win!" came the terrible excuse. "Besides, we wore disguises and you can't even see Tsuna's face at all. My arm is hiding him!"

"That doesn't mean that people won't recognise you." Lal hissed. "You are the second most powerful person in the world. People will see the resemblance. Especially with pictures of you in your terrible disguise posted everywhere."

The current CEDEF boss stacked the newspapers together and turned to his intelligent mentor. "So how do we cover up my dumb teacher's traces?"

Lal sighed. She looked around the room, glancing at all of the corners and shadows. "Viper, I know you're in here somewhere. You're always attracted to news about huge amounts of money. Come out."

Viper appeared out of thin air and floated onto the table in front of Lal Mirch. "It's Mammon now." He turned to the cause of Lal and Xanxus' headaches. "Show me the kid. I'll 'pose' as him in exchange for a percentage of the winnings."

If there was one thing about the current mist arcobaleno that the entire mafia knew, it was that his absolute loyalty could be bought with money.

If there was one thing about the current arcobaleno that the people closest to them knew, it was that, despite their differences and actions towards each other, they were very loyal to one another.

Viper would never sell out Lal or Lal's current charge.

With that in mind, Sawada Iemitsu engineered the most game breaking decision of everyone's lives.

"You can take it all if you agree to protect my son."

"Deal." Mammon agreed without as second thought, Euro signs flashing in his eyes.

(It was an unnecessary agreement. The reason why Mammon was here in the first place was due to his interest in Tsuna, having carefully watched the security footage of the boy telling his father what numbers to use. He was going to ask to observe the kid even without payment. That huge sum of cash was a bonus.

The contract was unbalanced.

Ironically, the scales had swung to Iemitsu's side rather than Mammon's, unknown to anyone at the time.

Why?

Well in the first place, the former External Advisor had no need for the money. His previous title had given him a lot of financial support and budgeting had never been a concern. Especially since the Sawadas weren't big spenders in the first place.

In fact, Mammon was doing Iemitsu a favour by removing the lottery earnings from under his name. He wouldn't need to worry about being taxed for that sum.

On the other hand, the same couldn't be said about Mammon.

That one word had ended up sealing a lifelong commitment.

(Un)fortunately.)

…

"Mammon, this is my son Tsunayoshi." He set his child onto the table. "Tsuna, this is Mammon."

The child smiled, arms waving slightly. "Mama!"

Mammon instantly recoiled. "It's Mammon. Mammon. Not mama."

Tsuna continued to smile and wave innocently, inching closer to Mammon. "Mama!"

"...Viper. Call me Viper. I insist."

"Mama!"

Lal choked out a laugh. Mammon glared at her under his hood. "Look kid. Call your mum 'mama'. Not me."

"Mama!"

Iemitsu had the most amused looking expression on his face. "Tsuna, what do you call Nana?"

The kid turned to his father innocently. "Kaa!"

"And me?"

"Papa!"

"Why does he address his mother in Japanese?" Mammon shrieked.

At the voice, Tsuna turned back to Mammon and once again smiled. "Mama!"

And that was how Mammon became Tsuna's mama.

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 _(In a world where Tsuna hadn't played the lottery, I would say that Mammon would go on to expand his information (blackmail) business, but he still does it in this world anyways.)_

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Bond #6

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Allow me to reiterate a point from earlier.

Sawada Iemitsu does not care about money. Specifically, he does not care about winning large sums of money.

He does, however, care about showing Tsuna as much of the world as he can.

With Mammon with them, Tsuna could now go to places where Iemitsu would surely be recognised and still remain hidden under the radar from the entire mafia.

One such location was a place that Mammon wanted to try out ever since he began observing Tsuna.

The casino.

Once again, let me point out that Iemitsu does not care about winning.

(Un)fortunately, seeing the flabbergasted, frustrated faces of the casino owners after they realised they lost half of their equity satisfied some childish sadistic side hidden inside him.

Mammon couldn't agree with him any less.

…

Tsuna never remembered his childhood years clearly. It is quite fortunate for him, actually. He doesn't have to be embarrassed and mortified every time he recalled his past.

As a baby, he somehow knew which specific slot machines would hit jackpot and would happily lead his father and Mammon to them.

It was fun.

Young Tsunayoshi had the satisfaction of inserting the coins/chips, pulling the lever or pressing the button.

Iemitsu had the satisfaction of watching the pictures match up and hear the screams around them as they do.

Mammon had the satisfaction of recording the winnings in his little bank book.

This tag team consisting of Iemitsu wearing mockingly thin disguises, the hooded arcobaleno Mammon, and a third hooded creature (it could be an animal or another baby, Mammon's illusion made it unclear) became a well-spread rumour amongst the gambling ring owners.

The best part was that they couldn't even deny them at the door. No one wanted to get in the bad graces of the External Advisor to the strongest famiglia in the world _and_ one of the strongest seven.

(They thought that the worst their third companion could be was another arcobaleno. They were wrong. Tsunayoshi is worse for their business than all of the arcobaleno that ever existed combined.)

…

"IEMITSU" Lal screamed as she rode on Xanxus' shoulder, the two of them beelining to the roulette table where the trio was situated. "You have work to do!"

"Teacher-" Xanxus paused, seeing the gleeful look on Mammon's face. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Mammon was on top of the world. "We are making the biggest bet of our lives."

The leader of the CEDEF looked around the casino hall, recognising a logo. "At the Carcassa famiglia?"

Lal groaned. "Don't tell me this is revenge for the time that Don called you a fool."

"It's not. I am not a fool." Iemitsu replied, shifting his boy higher in his arms.

"Trust me, you are."

"Quiet Lal." The man glanced at Mammon. "Is the illusion up?"

Mammon nodded. "Fully soundproof."

"Ok. Tsuna," Iemitsu gestured the table. "Red" He pointed at the red box. "or Black?" He pointed at the black box.

Tsuna cocked his head.

"Red," once again, the man pointed to the red square. "Black." He pointed to the other square.

Oh oh! Tsuna knew this! That colour is red. That colour is black. And that colour is… "Green!"

"Green?"

Tsuna nodded. "Green!"

Iemitsu blinked and ruffled his son's hair as Mammon released the soundproof barrier. "Alright, everything on green! And ride it."

The dealer eyed the chips on the table. Iemitsu's 'everything' was quite literal. The dealer had never even seen that many chips on the table at once in his life. Well, it was his lucky day apparently. What were the chances that the roulette ball would land on green two times in a row?

(Famous last words.)

…

This particular roulette wheel hadn't had a green landing in a decade. Then some kid named Sawada Tsunayoshi comes along and caused two in a row.

The rest of the story became quite simple. The massive number of chips on the table grew exponentially. The casino had to file for bankruptcy. The poor dealer became the most wanted man in the Carcassa famiglia.

(It actually didn't happen that smoothly.

The Carcassa instantly protested against paying. However, with the External Advisor (times two) and the arcobaleno (times two) present, they didn't have many options.

So they employed one of their options.

"…Eh? Viper? Lal? What?" Skull rode in on his motorbike, both relieved that it wasn't Reborn or Colonnello and shocked that it was Viper and Lal. It was such a weird combination.

"It's Mammon now." Mammon watched on in disinterest as Lal began slapping at Skull. The woman had evidently found the Skull's questioning statement offensive. He waited for his female companion to finish her assault.

"I'm glad you're here, Skull."

That sentence cause more pain and suffering than Lal's slaps did. Skull paled. "W-w-w-w-why?"

"The Carcassa owe us. I'm holding you responsible for their payment." Mammon actually gave Skull a wide smiled as he shakily took the bill. "I know where to find you."

Skull shrieked and ran out of the room.)

(Mammon did eventually get the money. That bag of cash also put Tsuna as his charge permanently. There was no way that anyone else would be able to come close to matching the sum to buy Mammon's loyalty again.)

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 _(In a world where the Carcassa didn't have a financial crisis, Skull would become their willing punching bag.)_

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After all of the confusion, shock and death threats, the poor dealer found himself in front of Sawada Iemitsu.

The man patted his shoulder. "Hey, just wanted to say, sorry about earlier." Iemitsu continued, ignoring the unamused glare he was getting from the dealer. "I can help you out. Work for me and I'll prevent these guys from killing you."

The dealer wasn't left with a choice. He nodded.

"Great! My son really likes you. He kept staring at you earlier so I figured that I should help you out!" It was then that Mammon loosened the illusion to allow for the dealer to see the child in Iemitsu's arms. "Well let's see. You'll need a new identity. A new name!" The man followed his son's gaze to a nearby flower. "A white orchid? Hmmm… you don't look like a Byakuran… ok got it! 'Dendro Chilum'. That's your new name from now on! Isn't that a nice name? My cute little tuna-fish thought of it."

Tsuna blinked and cocked his head cutely. Ie cooed over him.

Nearby, Xanxus facepalmed. Tsuna probably has no idea what was going on and was simply curious about the flower. Then again, it was Tsuna… maybe he did choose a name for him…

Meanwhile, Lal was seething in on his shoulder. "Iemitsu." She growled. "You are now banned from all forms of gambling. Do you know how much work we'll need to do to fix this mess up? At this rate, it'll be hard to hide Tsuna."

Iemitsu childishly rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, Lal. We'll stop. You can't deny it was fun, though."

Lal rolled her eyes but did not disagree.

It was then that pitiful Dendro realised that the reason why his previous employer went bankrupt and was after his blood was because Iemitsu found it hilarious.

…

Dendro Chilum watched the whirlwind known as the Sawada family blow around him. He should be angry at them, especially the kid.

They were the ones who destroyed his life after all.

However, with the little fish trying to keep up behind him, pointing at him and calling him 'ondori! ondori!' cutely, he really couldn't bring himself to get mad.

Then he figures that Tsuna had probably been trying to call him 'Dendro' all this time in a childish Japanese accent and that was the point where Dendro fell into the whirlwind and became a part of it.

(What Dendro doesn't realise was that Tsuna was pointing as his mohawk and calling him a rooster.

Everyone else was much too amused to tell the man the truth.

(Un)fortunately.)

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 _(In a world where Dendro bothered to pull up google translate, he was so embarrassed that he tried to hide for two days._

 _(Un)fortunately, his hiding skills were no match for Tsuna's intuition and he ended up forgiving the kid in the end.)_

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Bond #7

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* * *

 **AN: This chapter suffers from a lack of edits. If there's anything unreadable, doesn't make sense or needs clarification please tell me.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next up:** Xanxus goes to school and Tsuna ends up kidnapped by a crazy blond.


	5. Dino tries to expand his inner family

School was nothing short of a disaster for Xanxus.

It wasn't because of the trashy teachers. It would have been so much better if it was.

It was because Sawada Tsunayoshi was very good at attracting attention to himself from all the wrong people.

(Un)fortunately.

…

School was just like how Xanxus predicted it to be. A total bore filled with trashy teachers and even trashier students.

Iemitsu had, naturally, enrolled him into the largest (only) mafia school in existence. It made complete sense from everyone's point of view. There was no better place for Xanxus to make mafia connections other than a place filled with mafioso.

However, being the only mafia school there was, it also implemented an elevator system.

Everyone basically knew everyone else, that was especially true the older you were.

And so 7th grader Xanxus was quickly identified as the newbie.

Being the newbie was a make-or-break situation. The stronger kids of the grade would immediately set out to put the newbie in his place.

In Xanxus' case… being targeted was a make situation.

The CEDEF boss blinked in boredom as he stared at the defeated bodies before him. These guys were the elder siblings or famiglia members to the people he beat up yesterday, who were the siblings or famiglia members to the people that had attacked him on his first day.

If this was the future mafia generation, it was pretty pathetic.

The trash were all talk and no bite.

(It was more like all talk and some nibbling. The older kids had tried to bite but it was nothing compared to Tsuna's punches when the kid threw tantrums.

The baby always hits in the most damaging places. These trash flailed their fists around like fish out of water.)

In any case, Xanxus was quickly crowned the strongest amongst the spoiled mafia brats.

He was given a literal crown.

The headdress was immediately tossed to who-knows-where and Xanxus walked away with a growing headache. These brats were almost as bad as Iemitsu. He couldn't deal with this anymore.

(Xanxus was never approached by Enrico or his other brothers even though they attended the same school. Enrico, in his extended rebellious phase, had denied Xanxus as his brother and ordered Massimo and Federico to stay away from their youngest brother as well. That worked completely to Xanxus' liking. After all, the only way his day could get any worse was if he saw their faces and, god forbid, had to say something to them.

Of course, Xanxus is wrong.

There was an unknown factor that could turn his day upside down completely, for the worse.

And did.)

…

Tsuna hummed happily as Dendro travelled with him in the car to Xanxus' school.

The child had begged the older man to take him along. Iemitsu had an emergency meeting to attend and Nana was attending Italian lessons. This left the kid in Dendro's care.

(And Mammon's but the arcobaleno is always there and not there. He would perch on Tsuna's head or float around nearby but remain invisible to everyone.)

Normally, Xanxus would get home on his own. They had a chauffeur and everything. It was unnecessary for someone to personally come and pick him up.

However, it was a Friday and Dendro Chilium was reckless. The man did not even bother to think of a plan or give anyone further notice. He figured that they might as well go to the park after they picked Xanxus up. That way, Tsuna could happily play with Xanxus for the rest of the day.

(The man had gotten stuck in the slide the other day and swore that he would avoid playgrounds for the rest of his life.)

This recklessness had also caused them to arrive at the school early because Dendro didn't bother to check when Xanxus was off.

The man looked around as he walked passed the security gate, Tsuna cheerfully walking in front of him. The security guard had asked them to remain outside to wait for the students after asking for identification. However, the renown esper Mammon appeared out of thin air and demanded to get in and voila, in they were. "Mammon, what do you want…" Dendro blinked as he looked around the empty courtyard. "Mammon? Tuna?" The man swore under his breath. "Oh great…"

…

Tsuna wandered down the halls, looking around for Xanxus. All the kids were still in class so the halls were soulless. "Mama, Xan-nii?"

The arcobaleno remained on Tsuna's head, invisible to everyone. "Who knows."

"Mmmm…" The boy turned his head as he heard a door open. He ran down the hall to the noise and spotted a female student. "Ummm!"

The girl turned around. Her eyes blinked emotionlessly. "A child…" She took a step back and raised her arms slightly as if to shield her body. "What are you doing here?"

Tsuna looked up and stared straight into her eyes. He smiled. "Xan-nii?"

"Xanny?" For the first time, she lost her blank gaze, replacing it with a look of confusion.

The child nodded. "Xan-nii!"

Xanny? Like Nanny? Xanny… xan… oh. The student had an epiphany. The kid must be talking about that new upperclassman that all the boys and teachers are talking about. "Xanxus?"

Tsuna squealed happily. "Xan-nii!"

"Xanxus' classroom is on the other side of the school." The girl opened her mouth to give directions before holding her hand out. "I'll take you to him."

"Tank 'ou!" The kid gratefully took the hand and followed. He tugged on it when they were half way down the hall. The boy pointed to himself. "Tsuna!"

"Tsuna? Oh, your name?" The girl gave a slight smile as Tsuna nodded. "I am Iris."

There was another cheerful squeal. "Iris-nee!"

"Ok, here we are." Iris let go of Tsuna's hand and pointed to the door. "This is where Xanxus is. He is still in class right now so just wait here until the bell rings."

"Tank 'ou Iris-nee!"

"You're welcome." The girl gave a larger smile. "Bye, Tsuna."

"Bye bye."

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 _(In a world where Tsuna had he not seen Iris, he would have met with a marshmallow lover instead.)_

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Tsuna sat quietly beside the door to Xanxus' classroom, patiently waiting for the bell to ring.

(Un)fortunately for him, fate had other ideas.

Across the hall and two classrooms down was the class of a certain horse and his shark friend.

Their teacher was prone to dismissing the class early on Fridays.

Dino was prone to leaving the classroom first since he always raced Squalo to the car.

The path to the car passed right by the door to Xanxus' classroom, where Tsuna was quietly sitting.

When you factored in Dino's spoiled personality and obsession for cute things, you would end up with an (un)fortunate disaster.

"OMG, YOU ARE SO CUTE!"

Before Tsuna knew what was happening, he was plucked from the ground and spun around in the air.

"I'M TAKING YOU HOME!"

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 _(In a world where Dino… actually, there is no world where Dino doesn't kidnap Tsuna.)_

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Bond #8

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"DRIVE!"

The Cavallone driver was used to Dino's sudden orders. "Young boss, we must wait for young master Superbia."

"Squalo can get home by himself-" The boy's eyes lit up when he saw Squalo open the car door. The shark was forcefully dragged inside.

"VOOOOIIIIII WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" That was when the shark noticed the confused child beside the horse. "…WHAT THE F-"

Dino tackled Squalo to the floor. He turned to his driver. "DRIVE!"

The car sped off.

…

Tsuna watched the passing scenery curiously. Iris-nee told him to wait for the bell. He didn't hear it ring, but he figured that this blond gentleman and his close companion were going to bring him to Xanxus.

"WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!"

"Squalo, stop yelling. You're scaring him."

"YOU'RE the one who's scaring him. Return the brat to wherever he came from."

"NO! I'll take good care of him."

"NO, YOU WON'T!"

"I WILL." Dino plucked Tsuna out of his seat and stepped out of the car. "Here we are!"

Tsuna looked around, eyes wide at the huge new place that he had never seen before. He let Dino lead them into the building. Wow, the school was so big!

Meanwhile, the horse was positively glowing, ignoring Squalo's protests behind him. He led Tsuna through the corridor as Cavallone Puledro stepped out of his office. "Daddy, daddy, look!"

Puledro blinked. Once, twice, then he rubbed his eyes. That was when he began trembling. "…Dino, who, what, why, where-"

Romario stepped out from behind his boss, deciding to assist him. "Dino, who is that child?"

"I found him! I'm going to keep him!"

The Cavallone Don freaked out. "Wasn't Dino at school? Did he pick that kid up from school? That means that the kid is in someone's famiglia right? Who's famiglia? How do I apologise to them? What do I do?!"

Romario began rubbing circles on his boss' back. "Dino, bring him back to where you found him."

"Why?" Dino whined. "Look how cute he is! Look at those squishy cheeks and that fluffy hair and his general cuteness. He is so cute!"

"BEING CUTE ISN'T A REASON TO KIDNAP SOMEONE," Squalo screamed. "BRING HIM BACK ALREADY. HE HAS A FAMILY!"

"I'LL BE HIS FAMILY! THIS WILL BE HIS NEW HOME!"

Tsuna perked up at the word 'home' and decided to remind everyone of his original goal. "Xan-nii?"

"Xanny?" Don Cavallone walked up to the child and knelt down. "Do you know how to contact Xanny? Do you have a phone number? I can call him to come pick you up."

"NOOOO DADDYYY!" Dino grabbed the child and took a step back. "HE WILL STAY HERE FOREVER!"

"Xan-nii?" Tsuna panicked. Were they not going to take him to Xanxus? The child sniffled once and began to sob. He grabbed something from the air and began to hug it tightly. "Mama… MAMAAAA!"

"Muu quit crying." Mammon made himself visible in Tsuna's arms. "I called Xanxus already. He is coming."

The boy nodded and stopped crying, instantly calm with Mammon's words.

Puledro, on the other hand, was now the complete opposite of calm. There was an arcobaleno. His son kidnapped someone with an arcobaleno. Words couldn't describe how much fear he was feeling right now.

His current mental breakdown was the reason why Mammon didn't do anything until now. He knew who Dino was and knew the situation of the Cavallone. They were absolutely weak and harmless. The mist arcobaleno could have easily saved Tsuna at any moment and had more than enough information to get revenge as well. His curiosity was what let Dino go on for so long. Along with his anticipated amusement at seeing Xanxus flip out.

Xanxus did not disappoint.

There was a loud crash and multiple shouts outside. The head of the CEDEF barged into the Cavallone mansion, Dendro Chilium trailing behind him.

(It was ridiculously easy to defeat the guards and enter the house. The Cavallone, while influential and well connected, was suffering through a major financial crisis which caused the majority of the guards and servants to be laid off or switch allegiances. The few that remained were Puledro's closest friends.)

"Xan-nii!" Tsuna cried out, attempting to run to Xanxus.

Dino instantly protested, hugging Tsuna in place. "NO! You're staying here!"

Remember how Xanxus was having a bad day from all the annoying trash and the weird crown thing? Well, that headache was still present when Dendro ran to him with news that he lost Tsuna.

Xanxus wanted a long peaceful life. A crazy lion that would definitely turn furious when he learns of what has happened to his son was not part of that long peaceful life. Iemitsu was annoying on a good day. This stunt would cause him to become even worse than before.

And so, in pure rage and annoyance for what was to come, Xanxus began to fire beams at Dino.

(His flames wouldn't hurt Tsuna and Mammon will protect the child from it regardless.)

Squalo had a lot of common sense. He instantly walked well away from the child and the flames.

Dino had no common sense whatsoever. He instantly held the child tighter and began to flee.

Xanxuns chased him all over the mansion.

Watching the flames and hearing the screams all over the mansion, the shark sighed. "…Why the fuck is my life so crazy?"

Dendro shrugged. This was considered crazy? Squalo ain't know nothing yet.

…

The mansion ended up pretty burnt. There wasn't much monetary damage since all of the valuable items were sold in attempts to salvage the Cavallone financial situation. (Un)fortunately, many important documents were charred.

Despite all of that, however, Don Cavallone was very apologetic to Xanxus. His son was completely at fault here.

(A large part of the reason behind Puledro's forgiveness to Xanxus' action were also because he recognised the boy as Vongola Nono's son.)

In any case, the destruction caused by the boss of the CEDEF was known to no one other than those directly involved. Don Cavallone denied Romario's suggestion of asking Vongola for compensation.

The Don then spent the next month holed up in his room trying to recover what was lost. Including his sanity.

.

 _(In a world where Puledro wasn't isolated from the world to do paperwork, he would have been accidentally poisoned in an assassination attempted at Vongola Nono._

 _In that same world, Dino would have had to suddenly pick up reign from his father and lose his spoiled immature demeanour._

 _In that world, Nono would have sent Reborn to teach and protect Dino as an apology, cementing the alliance between the Vongola and the Cavallone.)_

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* * *

 **AN: Puledro translates to 'colt'. I wanted to put Squalo in here as well but I couldn't quite fit it in. The other Varia members will also appear slowly, one at a time.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** Dino proves how stubborn he is in having Tsuna as his little brother


	6. Xanxus unwillingly grows his headache

One attempted kidnapping was enough for Iemitsu. Tsuna will not be allowed to leave without 5 other caretakers from now on including himself.

Sadly, his actions of locking his precious child up did nothing to hinder his son's luck.

Chaos will always stubbornly find a way to get to Sawada Tsunayoshi.

(Un)fortunately.

…

Xanxus was currently housing the largest headache in history.

And it was 100% indirectly caused by Tsuna.

It gave Xanxus an even bigger headache when he realized he couldn't do anything to stop Tsuna from causing larger headaches. It wasn't the boy's fault. It was the fault of the crazy people around him.

Case point 1: Iemitsu.

Having learnt of his son's pleasant experience at the Cavallone mansion, Iemitsu had predictably flipped.

"Tuna-fish, why are you so adorable?" The father was on his knees, holding his son in tears. "Tsunaaaaa"

The kid was just as frantic as his father, confused to why the man was crying. He hugged Iemitsu back, patting his head soothingly, imitating exactly what his mother does to him when he cries. "Awa, is Papa hungwy?"

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh" That only made the young lion of Vongola cry harder. "Why are you so such an angelllll?"

Tsuna turned to Xanxus, tears in his own eyes, silently pleading for help. He didn't understand why his father was crying.

Xanxus didn't understand either. And he felt like he would never understand Iemitsu his entire life. The boy sighed. "Teacher, you have work to do. Lal is waiting for you."

Thankfully, Iemitsu processed the reminder rationally. He pulled himself from his son, still loudly sobbing. "Tsuna, listen carefully ok? There are such things as 'perverted pedophiles' in this world. You need to be careful because you are super cute and perverted pedophiles would want to steal you." The overprotective father turned around and pulled a bag labelled 'pervert kit' forward. "Inside here are many different rape whistles, stun guns, pepper spray-"

Lal kicked the lion face flat onto the floor. Seconds later, she dragged the body out of the room.

Xanxus sighed once more and followed his two mentors out. Part way out, he turned to Dendro, gesturing the bag. "Dispose of that." He continued on, not turning back. Xanxus never wants to see what the contents of that bag is.

"…" Dendro nodded at no one and headed towards the bag. Tsuna, guided by his intuition instead of his curiosity, had lost interest in the bag mere seconds after it was presented to him. The boy had run off to find Basil.

The man, on the other had, had no such intuition. Controlled by his curiosity, Dendro sat down and unzipped the bag. Inside, other than the innocent things listed earlier, were a larger variety of weapons and bombs along with, most disturbingly, a full section filled with different ropes, whips, handcuffs and chloroform. Digging deeper in the bag revealed an instruction manual for the said disturbing items.

It was then, after flipping through the 'instruction manual', that Dendro realized that Iemitsu was planning a bit too far ahead.

The terrifying lion of Vongola had concluded that if his son was going to be a target of perverts, he would teach his boy how to flee, kill or dominate. Probably not in that order.

Dendro Chilium burned away the instruction manuel before hiding the bag in the top of the closet, far away from Tsuna's reach.

(Ironically, Iemitsu's preparations lacked two crucial details that all parents tend to tell their children. 1: Don't talk to strangers. 2: Run away from trouble.

Tsuna never managed to learn either of those two fundamental survival skills.

(Un)fortunately.)

…

Case point 2: School.

Xanxus was starting to regret agreeing going to school.

Ever since he defeated all of those trash, he gained an entourage. A group of trashy brats led by some useless trash.

He ignored his groupies as much as he could, instead focusing his attention on completing the task Tsuna had asked him to do.

(Shortly after being rescued by Xanxus, Tsuna kept nagging his Xan-nii to Thank Iris-nee again since she helped him find him.

Xanxus had said he would, fully intending to forget about his promise the next day.

(Un)fortunately, Tsuna's intuition saw through his lie.

The boy kept pawing at him with a kicked puppy look on his face. He didn't relent even after Xanxus bribed him with another feather.

And so the leader of the CEDEF had no choice but to find the girl and thank her for Tsuna. The last thing he wanted was for Iemitsu to get involved. Who knows what crazy thing he might do to thank the girl.)

"Oi."

Finding Iris was quite simple. After asking around, Xanxus learnt that she spent most of her day in the supplementary classrooms. Xanxus caught her as she exited from one of the rooms.

The girl flinched before turning around. Seeing who it was, she visibly relaxed, her eyes swirling with amusement. "…Xanny."

Xanxus narrowed his eyes at being addressed that way but shrugged it off. "Tsuna says thank-"

"BOOOSSSSSSSSSSS" Xanxus' fanboy#1 found him. The older student ran towards him holding a velvet pillow. On top of that pillow was a polished crown. It looked strangely similar to the one Xanxus recalled throwing far into the distance the day before.

In less than a second, the so called owner of the crown grabbed it and once again threw it far into the distance, this time further than yesterday. It was a reflex.

Fanboy#1 went chasing after it, thinking it was some mission from his new boss or something.

Xanxus didn't care about anything other than having the crazy boy away from him.

Especially since he saw another crazy boy coming his way.

…

Case point 3: Dino.

"VONGOLAAAAAAAAA" The crazy blond found him. The younger student ran towards him, dragging Squalo along. "VONGOLAAAAA"

While everyone in the school knew of Xanxus' heritage, no one ever yelled his name like that. Enrico had made it clear that he didn't want Xanxus to be associated with them. Dino obviously forgot the memo somewhere.

"Vongola! The kid! Give me the kid!"

Sometimes, Xanxus finds Iemitsu's responses to the things that happen around Tsuna akin to overreactions. This was not one of those times.

In less than a second, the leader of the CEDEF grabbed the horse and threw him far into the distance. It was also a reflex.

Squalo face palmed before slowly heading towards the direction Dino flew. Might as well check if the shitty horse survived that throw.

(Under normal circumstances, Xanxus would have become an alcoholic to rid of his stress.

However, Iemitsu had put an alcohol ban within 100m around Tsuna.

The man himself hasn't touched beer ever since Tsuna was born.

And so, Xanxus was forced to face all of these people sober.

Unfortunately.)

.

 _(In a world where Xanxus was free to drink as he pleased, he didn't have nearly as much stress as he had in this world.)_

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Being thrown away did nothing to deter Dino's determination to have that cute little boy.

Squalo once again face palmed as his friend began describing his plan to stalk Enrico, Massimo and Federico.

"Voi, I thought your target was Xanxus. How would talking to the other guys help?"

Dino frowned, unhappy that he was interrupted. "They might know where Xanxus goes after school! They might know who that boy is!"

"…Corner Federico."

"Huh?"

The shark groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. Squalo couldn't believe he was saying this. "The first and the second brothers would get you no where. Ask the third. He might help."

"Oh." Dino responded mindlessly, before the pieces slowly fit together. "Oh. Oh!" He grinned, causing Squalo to regret opening his mouth instantly. "Let's go!"

"…Now?"

"Of course. I know where he is right now."

…

(Case point 4: Federico.)

Unlike his brothers, Federico genuinely missed his younger brother.

That boy was the only one who was able to ruffle Enrico's feathers after all.

(Life wasn't as amusing anymore now that Xanxus wasn't part of his life. Even Enrico felt the same way, even if he wouldn't admit it. Federico had noticed how his eldest brother's eyes lost its competitive spark.)

As such, he was, at worst, curious when he found himself cornered by two younger students on his way out from school asking about Xanxus.

"Upperclassman Vongola, do you know where your younger brother might be?"

Luckily for Squalo, Dino had enough sense to be polite towards the Vongola (other than Xanxus).

In all honestly, Federico knew exactly where Xanxus was headed. It was a well kept secret. Only the inner Vongola Famiglia knew of Xanxus' post as External Adviser.

Dino was not part of that inner famiglia.

However, the young Vongola's weak intuition told him that it wouldn't matter.

The conflicting rationals made Federico decide to choose the third option.

(Un)fortunately.

"I can take you two to him."

…

"Good afternoon, we are here to see Xanxus."

Tumeric nodded, recognizing Federico instantly. He gave a passing greeting to Squalo and Dino. "He is in the acting room. Allow me to guide you there."

"Acting?" The young Vongola gave a confused expression before he schooled it. "Thank you. Please lead the way."

(Had the man realized that Dino was the 'perverted pedophile' his master was ranting on and on about, Xanxus' headache wouldn't increase exponentially.)

…

Xanxus had just taken off his monster costume as the three unwanted visitors were led into the room. The boy's first response was to throw the monster head at the horse's face. "What are you doing here?!" He threw the rest of his costume at his brother. "And you!" Xanxus looked back and forth between Dino and Federico before putting two and two together. He growled at Squalo. "This is all your fault."

The saddest part for Squalo was that he couldn't even deny the completely accurate accusation.

"Why are you here?!"

This was directed at the three kids, however Tumeric answered instead. "They wanted to see you."

Lal mirch flew off her perch at the side of the room and planted the man into the floor. "They can't just be led here." The arcobaleno was fuming, both from being interrupted from her training session with Xanxus and the fact that two unknowns and a half known was in the private quarters of the CEDEF. "We have protocol for visitors. I would have expected you of all people to follow them."

Tumeric rubbed his head. "My apologies. I had assumed that it was alright to invite Xanxus' friends and brother inside."

"Don't associate me with that crazy Cavallone!" The external adviser roared. "Since when were we friends?!"

"Our spies observed you interacting with them?"

Xanxus actually gaped. The only interaction he had with the horse all day was the time he threw him out the window. How does that translate to friendship? "Our spies suck. Who trained them? Iemitsu?"

"…" Yes they were. It seems like the leader of the CEDEF would need to add 'fixing the spy training regime' to his list of headaches.

And that list was about to snowball.

Basil and Tsuna pattered into the room. Xanxus was scheduled to be finished training now and they wanted to play. "Xan-nii!"

Instantly, Dino flew out of left field and charged at the kids. "OMG THERES TWO OF THEM NOW!"

"Hieeee!" Tsuna shrieked and ran to Xanxus.

"YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE!"

Basil on the other hand, though equally terrified, stood in place bravely. He was taught to protect Tsuna. He will do his best to act as a distraction against this weirdo.

"LET'S PLAY TOGETHER!"

(Poor Basil. His sacrifice was pointless. Even if he ran away as well, Tsuna would have still been fine. He had Mama, after all.)

…

Bringing Dino and Squalo to the CEDEF was one of the best choices Federico has ever made in his life.

He had never seen something this chaotic before, even in TV dramas.

Tumeric was trying to rescue his son from the clutches of the crazy horse, who was hugging the poor boy while trying to grab at Tsuna.

Young Tsunayoshi was hugging Xanxus' neck to death as his brother began shooting flames at Dino in attempts to stop him.

Oh and here comes Iemitsu.

(After experiencing such breathtaking chaos, Federico knew that he was never going to go back to normalcy.

He could already foresee himself spending more time here than at home despite his knowing about his father's grudge against the CEDEF. Perhaps he could soothe out some of Vongola Nono's feelings.

Maybe he could get Tsuna to call him 'Fed-nii'.)

.

 _(In a world where Federico didn't follow his intuition, he would have had a very boring and dull life.)_

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Bond #9

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In the end, Dino and Squalo are forced to join the CEDEF.

Dino accepted his fate happily. (His father did as well. Puledro was overjoyed at the mere fact that his son wasn't mauled by the young lion.)

Squalo didn't accept his fate that happily at first.

And then he realized that Xanxus happened to be one of the sanest people around.

(It was then that Squalo swore his undying loyalty to the leader of the CEDEF. Sanity is good. Squalo will protect sanity with his life.)

Iemitsu didn't accept his fate happily.

It took hours for Lal and Xanxus to reason with him the reason why they should keep a close watch on the kids.

He only said yes after finally realizing he would gain another orange for his flame cartoons.

* * *

 **AN: The latter part of this chapter went through many huge changes, hence the delay. At first, Squalo was intended as bond #9 but Federico actually works much better.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next up:** Xanxus begins to build his famiglia. Interlude.

Edit: added things to the end I forgot to paste in the first time.


	7. Federico learns that planning is useless

There were very few people who could make Xanxus speechless. Sawada Iemitsu was one of them.

The leader of CEDEF stared at the happy Sawada family, the tea party they were having, and their guest in the form of fanboy #1.

"…What." was all Xanxus could say. Then he turned around and briskly left the room.

Sadly, he was not fast enough.

"Xanxus my boy, why didn't you tell me about your wonderful subordinate?" Iemitsu had caught up and placed a hand on Xanxus' shoulder. "You should tell your dear mentor about these things!"

There were multiple things that Xanxus wanted to say. Iemitsu is not his 'dear' mentor. Please no. But more importantly, "…he is not my subordinate."

"Aww, you don't need to be shy." The former CEDEF boss patted his successor's back. "I'm proud that you're so keen on finding loyal men like Levi-a-than."

"Who?"

Iemitsu gestured their guest at the tea party table. That boy was currently telling Nana and Tsuna fantastical stories of his boss' exploits that were more than a bit exaggerated and made up. "Levi-a-than. Oh, or do you call him Levi instead?"

No. Xanxus calls him fanboy #1. "…Sure. Teacher, did you invite him here?"

"Yup! We wanted to meet your friends. Your brother suggested that we start with Levi." Iemitsu looked very proud of himself. "I'm glad we did."

Oh no, the external adviser had forgotten to fix the report the spies have given about his so called 'friends' (aka his entourage or anyone Xanxus even touched during his time at school). That's not good.

All Xanxus could hope for now was that Iemitsu didn't commit any of the names of his groupies into memory before he rips up the report and retrains all of the spies.

"But really, good job for finding such a wonderful subordinate. I don't have any men who are like Levi."

"…I see." The boy was seconds from calling his mentor a lucky bastard when fanboy #1 finally finished telling his epic about his boss and noticed him.

"BOOOOOOSSSSSS" Normally, Xanxus would shoot him but Nana was watching so he kept his gun in his holster. "BOSS!" The fanboy got on one knee. His tall structure placed his head just below Xanxus' chest level. "Allow me to swear my loyalty. I will follow you with my life."

Fanboy #1 then reached to the ring hanging innocently around Xanxus' neck and planted a kiss on the surface.

Behind them, Nana squealed. This was such a touching moment for the two of them. It's just like a knight and his king!

Xanxus' thoughts, on the other hand, were not even close to lady Sawada's.

All he could think of was the fact that this ring hasn't been cleaned forever. Tsuna's drool must be still all over it.

That revelation in mind, the boss excused himself from the tea party and quickly left the room.

Xanxus sterilized the ring for an entire week.

(Alaude could finally rest in peace.)

…

(Upon later reflection, Xanxus realized that his brother had set him up so that Iemitsu would meet Levi.

His brother evidently noticed fanboy #1 fanatic ways of following him around like a lap dog.

It had amused the older boy enough to try to include fanboy #1 deeper into Xanxus' nonsensical life.

Federico's only regret was not being there during the tea party.)

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* * *

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It was a perfect day for Xanxus.

The crazy father hasn't done anything bizarre for the kid. He obediently doing his paperwork upstairs.

The crazy horse hasn't done anything traumatic to the kid. He was obediently at home studying under the threat that if he failed anything, he would be banned from seeing Tsuna.

The crazy fanboy hasn't done anything bizzare or traumatic to himself. He was obediently going through an intense training session led by Lal.

Sure, his brother had dropped by but he hasn't done anything yet. He was obediently sitting across from him reading a book.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Except for the fact that Xanxus jinxed himself.

"Xan-nii?"

Tsuna walked up to him, holding his dolls. "Iris-nee?"

The leader of the CEDEF put down his paperwork. "What?"

"T'ank Iris-nee?"

"I…" Xanxus trailed off. He remembered talking to Iris but did he managed to convey Tsuna's message before fanboy #1 and the horse were thrown out the window? "…Did."

The boy's uncertainty was instantly picked up by Tsuna. He pouted, pulling at Xanxus' shirt. "Xan-nii t'ank Iris-nee?"

Xanxus sighed, opting to tell the truth. "I talked to her, but then the Cavallone and other people distracted me."

Ok, now the kid was tearing up. "Xan-nii no t'ank Iris-nee? But Xan-nii pwomise?"

"Shh, shhh don't cry Tsuna." Federico gathered the child in his lap. "Xan-nii was too busy and forgetful to keep his promise—"

"Oi—"

"—But your father would never break a promise to you." The teen kicked his brother's shin to shut him up. "And he promised that he would take you anywhere you wanted to go right?"

Tsuna nodded, wiping away his tears. "Papa pwomised."

"Then let's go ask your father to take you to Iris. That way you can thank her yourself." Federico kicked Xanxus again when he noticed his younger brother attempt to protest. "Shall we?"

"Ok!"

Federico and Tsuna left the room before Xanxus could intervene.

…

A little known fact about Federico was that he was terrible to have as a friend and even worse to have as an enemy.

The teen used his Vongola blood and hyper intuition to be a manipulator for the sake of his amusement.

"External adviser."

"Haha, you shouldn't call me that anymore. I would think you're talking to Xanxus."

Federico smiled, handing the child to his father. "Former External adviser, little Tsuna has somewhere he wants to go."

"Ooooh Tuna-fish wants to go exploring?" Iemitsu swung his son in the air. "Tsuna is growing up to be a big boy!"

"Would you take him? We are worried that you might be busy—"

The man hugged the boy before he passed out from dizziness. "I always have time for my son."

"Anytime? Anywhere?"

"Of course!"

Tsuna looked up at his father with huge eyes. "Pwomise?"

Iemitsu nuzzled his forehead against Tsuna's. "I promise."

The boy's eyes lit up. "Iris-nee!"

Federico stepped forward. "Tsuna wants to thank a girl he met earlier for helping him."

Tsuna nodded. "T'ank Iris-nee!"

"Oh my little boy is so polite~ Where did you meet her?"

"He met Iris, Hepburn Iris, at school." Federico paused, hyper intuition picking up Iemitsu's instant flinch at the word school. The man was clearly traumatized due to the incident caused by Dino. "You will take Tsuna there, won't you?" The teen's eyes twinkled. "After all, you promised him."

Tsuna's hyper intuition also picked up on Iemitsu's apprehension. "Papa?"

"And you need not to worry. There are 5 of us who would be at school, even without counting Mammon and yourself. I'm sure Xanxus, Squalo, Dino and Levi would be happy to watch for any trouble."

Iemitsu was forced to agree, under the weight of two hyper intuition users.

It was so convenient that everyone went to the same school.

…

What Federico was planning for was to have Iemitsu surprise Xanxus in class. The look on his brother's face would be pure gold.

(Un)fortunately, when it comes to plan that involves Tsuna, it will be inevitably thrown out the window further than Xanxus' crown. When Mammon is also involved, the plan would be thrown into a rocket and blasted off to space.

Iemitsu's condition for allowing Tsuna to come with him to school was for the boy to always wear his cloak and for Mammon to cover the boy in an illusion.

The intersection of the above ideas happened in Mammon's favour.

As Federico distracted Iemitsu into seeking out Xanxus, Mammon easily led the invisible Tsuna into the school.

"Mama?"

The arcobaleno remained on Tsuna's shoulder, inside the barrier around the two of them. This was the perfect opportunity to test the strength of Tsuna's hyper intuition. "You are looking for that girl."

Tsuna nodded. "Iris-nee."

"Close your eyes and walk. Focus. Picture the girl in your mind and go wherever your mind tells you to go."

The trusting boy did exactly as told and travelled blindly.

Mammon had a intuition gauge in mind. He already knew that the boy's inuition was good, since the boy could clearly sense hidden emotions. So this experiment was going to see how strong it could get. If Tsuna didn't walk into anything, then his intuition was quite strong. The next level was if he found anyone that he knew intimately, like his father or Xanxus. And the highest level would, of course, if he found the girl.

The arcobaleno had pretty much expected Tsuna to beeline to where the girl was. The boy had never ceased to amaze after all.

What Mammon didn't expect was the events that followed after Tsuna found her.

The boy stopped in front of a supplementary classroom. He frowned, squirming.

"What's wrong?"

Tsuna pointed to the door in front of him, eyes still closed. "Iris-nee." He shivered. "Mama…"

"Keep your eyes closed and open the door."

The boy shook his head. "Can't open. Locked."

Well locked doors were the same as paper when an illusionist was around. Mammon easily made a key and unlocked the door with his mind.

Tsuna was still shaking as he slowly gripped the doorknob. He twisted it and tripped as he opened it.

Mammon eternally thanked Tsuna's hyper intuition for causing him to trip and keep his eyes closed. The boy did not need to see this.

All the kid heard was a male shouting. Then there were multiple crashes and banging noises as Mammon proceeded to wrap the man in illusory rope.

When Tsuna opened his eyes, however, he only saw Iris-nee and the dark red marks around her stomach and wrists. The girl quickly pulled her shirt down as Tsuna approached her, drenched in tears.

"Iris-nee…"

The girl was still trying to catch up to what had happened in the last few seconds to respond. She unknowing gave Tsuna a full view of the marks around her neck.

Tsuna screamed.

Iemitsu, followed by Xanxus and Federico burst into the room seconds later as Tsuna tearfully hugged Iris tightly, wailing at the top of his lungs.

And then everything exploded into chaos.

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 _(In a world where Tsuna and Mammon arrived later, Iris would have had enough time to hide the marks under her clothes.)_

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Bond #10

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* * *

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Dino was pouting.

That was never a good thing.

Whenever Dino starts pouting, Squalo would inevitably need to hear his friend's complaining.

"That's not fair!"

Squalo ignored him, continuing his pushups in a steady pace.

"Why won't Tonno-chan call me big bro?!"

'Tonno-chan' was Dino's nickname for Tsuna. The blond had tried to call Tsuna 'Tuna', but Iemitsu had heavily protested, claiming that 'Tuna is my nickname! You can't have it!'.

(The gleaming pickaxe was more convincing than the man's words.)

"He even calls Federico 'Fed-nii'! I met Tonno-chan first. I should be his big bro."

If you want him to call you big bro, you should start by not scaring him, Squalo thought. Instead he sighed. "The kid is related to the Vongola. They are cousins. It is natural for Tsuna to call Federico his big brother."

"Why can't Tonno-chan be related to me?!"

Because he was blessed at birth. "That's just life."

Dino threw his hands up. "Dinny! Tonno-chan can call me Dinny!"

"…Did you just come up with that?" Squalo face palmed. "Don't be so pathetic that you come up with your own nickname."

"YOU'RE pathetic. Tonno-chan doesn't call you big bro."

"HE DOESN'T CALL YOU THAT EITHER."

"WELL HE WILL NOW!" The horse galloped off.

"Oh fuck no." The shark dived after him at full speed. Xanxus had made him responsible for Dino and Squalo wasn't in the mood to nurse the stupid Cavallone when he is thrown out the window for the nth time.

(Un)fortunately for everyone, Dino somehow had a built-in radar for where his Tonno-chan was. He ran to the kid without going off course. The kid screamed and hid behind his big sis and big bro.

Squalo was right behind him screaming as well. "VOOOOOIIIII YOU SHITTY HORSE—"

The horse being thrown out of the window wasn't what silenced Squalo. Instead, it was the thrower.

Xanxus slammed his hand over Squalo's mouth and pulled him close. "Listen." He hissed. "You do not swear in front of Tsuna. I've seen enough of Iemitsu ripping tongues out of stubborn trashes mouthes only for the Lion to roast their tongue with his flame and stuff it back into their mouth." He let go of the stunned shark's face. "There is no 'fuck', you 'flame' them. Your crazy friend isn't a 'shitty' horse, he is a… 'slippery' horse. Don't 'damn' anyone, 'drown' them. Are we clear?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to remember that?!"

Xanxus grabbed the closest thing to him (his glass) and threw it at Squalo.

(Un)fortunately, hearing the shark's screams as the glass made contact and shatter satisfied some childish sadistic side hidden inside him (perhaps inherited from his teacher).

It became a habit.

* * *

 **AN: Ahaha… the mood shifted so abruptly in the middle. Sorry. I just needed to get that part out of the way. I decided to cut out majority of the details, since they are not important to the story, just to Iris' past and abuse.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** All of the arcobaleno rack up a debt to Tsuna without the boy ever realizing.


	8. Iris learns that planning is useless

Tsuna had always been weak willed and obedient. The boy could never muster the courage or intent of saying 'no'. Saying 'no' would probably lead to some terrifying outcome that might include grown men crying, pouting babies, grumpy teens and general mayhem.

However, at the same time, Sawada Tsunayoshi was infamously stubborn when it came to family.

That was probably the only trait he ever inherited from his father.

(Un)fortunately.

…

Iris' upbringing was more complicated than Xanxus'.

The girl was born from the 3rd son of Don Nuevo and a street rat.

Normally, children, particularly girls, of her heritage would be silenced instantly. However, Iris was born bearing a striking resemblance to Lady Nuevo.

Her grandmother absolutely adored her.

(It might also have to do with the dominantly male family. All of Iris' cousins are male, along with each of the children of Don Nuevo. The wife of the house really wanted to play dressup with her breed.)

However, that all changed when her grandmother died.

It then became quite apparent that everyone looked down on her in disgust, except for her grandfather and maybe her stupid father.

She is a girl. She is the daughter of the most ignorant man in the world. She is born from filth.

Did Iris care? Nope. Not at all.

She didn't care at all, until her grandfather was assassinated.

And then she started to care.

She started to care when the two eldest sons began ripping the family apart. She cared when her father and ultimately herself were used by both of her uncles as they tried to get rid of the other one.

The 2nd son had greater accomplishments than the 1st. The 1st had greater connections. Iris had her clueless father.

Because none of the two brothers perceived their youngest as a threat, Iris was allowed to work like a slave for everyone.

That wasn't what made Iris actually care though.

That happened when she was enrolled into school. That happened when she met one of the closest friends of her 2nd uncle. That friend of her uncle was a teacher at the school that fit the description of Iemitsu's 'perverted pedophile' and knew about the fact that no one in the Nuevo was concerned about Iris' life.

Iris hated school.

She hated it even as he began lowering his guard and spilling massive secrets about her 2nd uncle's operations and how the Vendice would have a field day with his crimes.

And so naturally, Iris decide to tell. Tell the 1st anonymously. Tell the 2nd that the 1st suspects him anonymously.

Tell the police anonymously.

Have the Nuevo destroy itself from within.

Then she (un)fortunately helped Tsuna find Xanxus.

And Tsuna (un)fortunately grew attached to her.

Which made Iemitsu (un)fortunately remove the perverted pedophile for the sake of cleaning the country for his son.

Iris (un)fortunately lost her key informant and witness.

The police (un)fortunately didn't have enough evidence for an arrest.

.

 _(In a world where Iris' plan was undisturbed, the 2nd son would be arrested by the Vendice, letting the 1st son easily take over Nuevo._

 _However, the 1st son was very paranoid at the men and women who followed the 2nd son and resolved to get rid of them._

 _Since they didn't want to die, they pled for the 3rd son to start a coup and arranged one in his name._

 _Then there was a massive civil war and the Nuevo ultimately collapsed._

 _Just as planned.)_

.

.

.

"I would like custody over Ms Iris Hepburn."

Iemitsu could have easily sent in a letter instead of meeting with the heirs of Nuevo in person. However, he wasn't keen on starting any mafia war since Iris is technically a heir candidate. Plus this was good experience for Xanxus.

The 3rd brother looked towards his elder brothers, who looked at each other. It wasn't everyday that the renown Young lion of Vongola comes knocking on their door asking for their daughter. "May we get an explanation, External Adviser?"

"My boy likes her!"

Behind him, Xanxus closed his eyes and held in a face palm. Iemitsu didn't need to be brutally honest, did he? Wasn't his mentor trying to teach him diplomacy here? Unless diplomacy = shock value. Then that would be a different story. Iemitsu was a master of shock value.

Unbeknownst to the young CEDEF head, the heirs of Nuevo interpreted 'Iemitsu's boy' as himself. It was natural, since no one knew that the external adviser had a son. And that he is now technically the former external adviser.

"Don't worry, I will ensure that she is honoured and highly respected… She can marry Xanxus!"

Xanxus kicked him. Yes, Iemitsu is indeed the master of shock value.

Unexpectedly, the Nuevo interpreted Xanxus' actions as being tsundere.

"We will grant you custody of Iris in exchange for a favour. Search for the people who sabotaged our last shipment." The eldest heir of Nuevo handed Iemitsu a document, letting him flip through it calmly.

The man pondered over the information for a while before nodding. "We will accept this under the condition that you will only receive intelligence. Do not expect any of use to do any actions."

"That is fine. The legal paperwork will be finished after we get the information. In the mean time, Iris can stay with your boy. I'm sure he will take good care of her."

"Of course he will. My boy is very chivalrous to women. Xanxus, help Iris pack up and take her to HQ."

Xanxus rolled his eyes and followed after Iris. Did Iemitsu force him to come along for the sake of being a courier?

(No. His mentor wanted him here for the purpose of being Tsuna's scapegoat. Poor Xanxus still has a lot to learn.)

…

As a safety precaution, Iemitsu sent his wife back to Japan under the excuse of her visiting her family.

Tsuna was supposed to go with his mother, however he begged and pleaded his father to let him stay with Iris-nee.

(Un)fortunately, the cunning lion of Vongola, the same person who easily tricked Xanxus into posing as the girl's suitor, had no abilities to win against his son.

The boy was allowed to stay.

Mammon decided to give the man some comfort and kept the kid invisible.

.

 _(In a world where Iemitsu had some self control over seeing his son in tears, Tsuna would have trashed Namimori with his cyclone of insanity half a decade earlier than this world.)_

.

.

.

Ironically, the Nuevo didn't need to seek out the people who stole their goods for revenge.

The Vendice were already after them.

And there is no fate worse than being sent to Vendicare.

However, since no one knew about the Vendice hunt, not even the thieves, the events ended up intersecting in the park.

First, some back tracking.

The idiotic Nuevo had publicly announced that they were going pay back the people who harmed their business. (Well they didn't mention anything about Iemitsu or the CEDEF, to their credit. They weren't stupid enough to cross a lion.)

In response, the thieves decided to prepare for the highly potiential mafia war they would be having against the Nuevo. It was never too late to start planning early after all.

Their plan involved kidnapping one of the children of the Nuevo heirs.

And well, it is just so convenient that she is in the park right now with a couple of teens, children and one grown man.

(They didn't realize that the teens were stupidly trained enough to take against an army. Iemitsu and Lal are very good a training people. That was why the CEDEF was so widely recognized.

Fortunately, they didn't get to experience their training first hand.)

Meanwhile, the kids decided to play hide and seek. (It was Dendro's idea. Tsuna was the reason why they all begrudgingly agreed to join in.)

Since the game required the children to split up and go to secluded areas, the thieves seized this opportunity to pounce.

At this moment, a series of coincidences that happened at the same time which shook the world.

1\. The thieves snuck behind a tree to wait for the perfect chance to grab the girl.

2\. Tsuna, still invisible to everyone except his friends, ran towards the trees to hide.

3\. It was the same tree.

4\. The Vendice chose this moment to appear in front of the thieves out of nowhere and arrest them.

5\. Tsuna crashed into the Vendice guard.

6\. Mammon was inside Tsuna's arms.

"Hiieeeee!" The boy screeched as he tumbled into the dark robes.

In shock, the mist arcobaleno accidentally dropped the illusion.

"Sowwy! Sowwy!" Tsuna was panicking, upset that he toppled a man over. He tried to help the much larger figure up. "I'm sowwwyyyy!"

Well since accidentally crashing into someone wasn't a crime written in the Vendice rule book, the guard didn't quite know how to reach and merely nodded.

"Sowwy Mama." The boy picked Mammon up from the ground and hugged the baby, who was still frozen from seeing the Vendicare guard.

The current and former arcobaleno were both so surprised at the appearance of one another that neither of them realized their pacifiers had come off and started glowing.

(Un)fortunately, Tsuna did.

"Hiiiieeeee! Mama, I'm sowwy. I bwoke it. It's bwoken! I'm sowwy!"

The boy did not break anything.

However, both of the pacifier holders ignored the boy's non-stop rambling as they stared at the objects usually hung around their necks that were currently wrapped around the limbs of the boy and the Vendice guard.

The guard's pacifier was glowing a faint green, which Mammon later attributed to the fact that Tsuna's sky flames had probably kickstarted the pacifier again.

Mammon's was also glowing, however, his was his usual indigo surrounded by black flames, which he later learnt were night flames. The most shocking thing, however, was that the pacifier was glowing even though it was not touching the baby and Mammon wasn't suffering any repercussions of losing his pacifier.

Strangest of all, the pacifier was still glowing.

And Mammon was still ok.

It was then that both Mammon and the Vendice realized that night flames could be used to keep the pacifiers functioning instead of human hosts.

This would be a good time to calm the boy down and tell him that nothing is broken.

After that, Mammon would have a call to make.

Verde is going to have a field day.

…

Verde continued to type merrily as Reborn tore open his lab.

The sun arcobaleno had the most straightest face anyone had ever seen him make. "Are you joking."

"You're late. You only beat Fon. I am surprised, I would have assumed that you would have made it here sooner considering how you are in the neighbourhood while Fon is halfway across the world."

Reborn looked almost hesitant as he took a step forward. "Is this a joke?"

Verde rolled his eyes. "Why would I want to see your face otherwise?"

"I'm serious."

"Viper is the one who discovered the cure. He sent everyone the memo, not me. Instead of destroying my lab, you should rip apart his house if you had doubts. Oh and Viper goes by Mammon now." He swivelled his chair around, proudly showing Reborn how he was pacifier-free. "Are you going to stand there all day? Hurry up and get this over with. We all owe Mammon by the way."

Reborn stared at the lightning arcobaleno in shock before finally approaching his comrade. "How did Mammon find the cure?"

Verde shrugged. "Luck."

…

And that was how Tsuna unknowingly wracked up favours from all of the current arcobaleno, the Vendice and Checkerface.

All before discovering his own flame.

.

 _(In a world where Iemitsu didn't instil paranoia into Mama to protect his child and keep him completely anonymous, Tsuna would have gained at least 8 bonds from this incident alone.)_

.

.

.

The arcobaleno, sans Mammon and Lal, wouldn't learn of who was responsible for their life until well after Tsuna had forgotten about the trigger incident.

That doesn't mean that the mist arcobaleno would forget though.

Now Mammon can happily remind everyone of their debt.

And exploit them to his heart's content.

(Those were just some of the side benefits of being Tsuna's mama.)

* * *

 **AN: I had a reviewer (twitch101, thank you all for the reviews btw) asking about Giotto. In my planned storyline, the first generation does not appear (I didn't think about including them. I forgot. Eh he~) I am hesitant to include the first generation because of the nature of what will happen to Vongola Decimo later on. However, I would consider making a side story(?) featuring Giotto, which would mostly consist of Iemitsu trying to hide his son from their ancestor or something like that. On an unrelated note, I had still cut out most of Iris' details when writing this chapter. She was supposed to be given to Nana for healing or something but it didn't fit so yeah. If I accidentally write stuff that doesn't make sense about Iris, the reason is probably because I thought I wrote about it already. Please point them out to me if that happens. Thanks.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** Tsuna gets a kitty named Natsu.


	9. Natsu has an identity crisis

Predictably, Iemitsu was the type to spoil the people he loved. Dating him included massive bouquets, chocolates, dresses, jewelry and a lot of other extravagant gifts, as Nana learnt first hand.

When it came to his darling son, though, Iemitsu brought spoiling to a whole new level.

Sawada Tsunayoshi got everything whether he wanted it or not. More often not.

(Un)fortunately.

…

This was neither Tsuna's first trip to the zoo nor the last. It wasn't very memorable either.

To everyone but Xanxus that is. (Since that boy is the only person who actually keeps track of the insanity.)

Like always, it started as a normal day with a normal (hectic but relatively normal) road trip to the zoo.

Everyone wanted to go to different places, which was natural in such a big group.

Basil wanted to go to the marine section.

Dendro the manchild was mentally glued to the rhinos.

Iris expressed interest in primates.

Tsuna really wanted to see the lions.

Xanxus didn't care.

And so, by the power of Iemitsu, they were led to the lions first.

The overjoyed kid then spent a good half an hour gazing at the large beasts.

…

There was really only one reason why Tsuna likes lions so much. A very innocent one.

His father is a lion.

Therefore lions are his favourite animal in the world.

And he can spend the rest of his day watching them.

(Un)fortunately, that same lion of a father he has doesn't comprehend innocent reasons. (He doesn't get reason in general but let's leave it as this for now.)

Iemitsu, naturally, misunderstood. The reason why his lovely Tuna-fish is enraptured by the lions so much is surely because he wants one.

The man lifted his child up and pointed to the beast on the other side of the cage. "My son, do you want a lion?"

The boy shook his head. "Tsuna no lion. Thank you."

What Tsuna was trying to say was that he doesn't want a lion.

What Iemitsu heard was his son demanding to own a lion.

"I understand Tsuna! I'll get one for you."

Hearing this, Xanxus immediately took action, taking the child away from Iemitsu, giving the boy to Nana and pulling the man aside.

"Teacher. Don't think even about it. A real lion as a pet is dangerous."

Iemitsu ruffled his student's hair, thinking that he is jealous. "Don't worry my boy. You'll get one too!"

Xanxus immediately dragged him away from the cage complaining how he wasn't jealous and his teacher will not get anyone any lions.

He naively thought that Iemitsu would forget about the matter.

How very naive.

…

Two weeks later, Iemitsu brought home two lion cubs. Well it was one lion and one liger but close enough.

Xanxus' jaw dropped onto the floor.

The rest of the Sawada family, on the other hand, approached what they saw in a more realistic manner.

They thought the cubs were cats. They thought they were cats despite having seen cats before and just having recently seen lion cubs.

(Because anyone in their right of mind wouldn't believe that someone would bring home lions.)

"Ara, Tsu-kun look at what papa brought home!"

Tsuna ran to the lion cub. "Kitty!"

Nana petted the sleeping 'cat' merrily. "Dear, what breed is it? I've never seen a cat like this before."

Iemitsu had a really mischievous smile on his face. "It's lion. Tsuna, this one is yours and that one is Xanxus'."

"Yay! Kitty!" Tsuna took the liger and ran to a frozen from shock Xanxus. "Xan-nii! Kitty!"

Xanxus quickly took the cub from the child's arms, fearful that the beast might bite. He would need to start training this liger immediately.

(Mammon took similar precautions for the lion. Kind of.

The arcobaleno decided to see if he could convince the lion that he was a real cat.

To put shortly, it was mission success.

The resulting weird hybrid of self identities cause the lion to combine a 'growl' with a 'meow'. This resulted in a 'gao'.)

…

Xanxus, despite being the leader of the CEDEF, was still both a child mentally and physically. (Which is perfectly natural considering his age.)

Like every other pre-teen who just got themselves a new pet, the boy holed himself up google searching for the perfect name.

After days of deliberation, the boy came up with the name 'Vesta'. Vesta, the Roman goddess of home, hearth and family. The goddess of the sacred fire.

So when his beloved mentor began calling his liger 'Bester', Xanxus was extremely close to throwing a temper tantrum.

Instead, he grabbed Vesta and trained him until the beast responded to his real name.

(Sadly, Xanxus was too late. The liger was already corrupted. He responds to 'Bester' if Xanxus isn't around.

The only reason why he responds to Xanxus' Vesta is due his owner's terrifying training and punishments.)

Of course, Iemitsu wasn't nearly done with sabotaging names yet.

Tsuna shrieked in horror when his father began calling his lion 'Better'.

"Nooooo! Kitty is Natsu! Natsu!"

"Haha, don't worry son. 'Better' can be his middle name."

And that was the tale of how poor lion kitty Natsu Better Sawada got his name.

…

"Daddy! I want a lion. Buy me a lion!"

Puledro absentmindedly nodded as he continued to frantically do his paperwork. "Romario, can you take Dino to the toy store?"

"NO! I want a real lion. The ones that go roar."

"…" Don Cavallone stopped writing. "…A real lion? …No. Sorry son, you can't have a real lion."

"WHYYYYYY" The boy began trashing around wildly. "Tonno-chan and Xanxus both have one. I want one too!"

Having now been a forced acquaintance of Iemitsu, both Puledro and Romario were more than inclined to believe that Dino was telling the truth. "…I'm really sorry Dino. You can't have a lion…" Puledro looked towards Romario for help.

Quickly picking up his boss' desperate plea, Romario patted Dino on the head. "The Vongola are the lions. Cavallone are horses. Why don't you get a horse instead?"

Dino looked highly disappointed. "A horse?"

It took the rest of the day for Puledro and Romario to convince Dino to get a horse instead of a lion.

…

It took 5 minutes for Iemitsu to get the horse to respond to the name 'Good'.

"Scuderia?"

The horse stared blankly at his owner.

"…Good?"

Good neighed.

Dino wanted to cry.

Iemitsu was looking all too pleased with himself. "Now we have Good, Better and Bester!"

Xanxus detested his teacher for having such a strong affinity with animals.

(There was a reason why Lal didn't have a pet. She doesn't want it to be corrupted by Iemitsu.)

…

"Father, may I have a pet?"

Nono looked up from his meal. This was the first time any of his kids have ever asked for an animal. "Of course. What do you want, Federico?"

The teen gave the most brilliant smile. "A lion."

Timoteo blinked. Then he blinked again.

More than one of his guardians choked on some food. The rest of them were experiencing shock and confusion.

Enrico and Massimo both stared at their younger brother like he just grown another head.

"I'm joking." Federico's smile only grew more brilliant. "I was joking about the pet. I don't want one. I can just play with Xanxus'."

After all, the last thing he wants is for Iemitsu to name whatever pet he got 'Ok'.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for the delay. I was sick for half a week and spent the rest of the time trying to play catch up at school. It was not fun... Well anyways, I want to keep character appearances a surprise. I will probably put everyone that isn't part of the main story in side stories, though I'm not quite sure yet.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** Lal gains a new apprentice.


	10. Lal follows Iemitsu's example

"Lal. You need an apprentice."

The arcobaleno gave Iemitsu a deadpanned stare as she slowly lifted her finger. "What are those idiots then?"

'Those idiots', which consisted of basically all the kids Tsuna had picked up thus far, continued their training, unaware of the appearance of the Young Lion and his son.

"No like someone for you to personally train. Look how happy Tumeric and Oregano are after adopting Basil!"

…To be honest, Lal didn't see anything different in the couple's behaviour. They still had a strong platonic relationship and a well formed parternship. Which was probably developed as camaraderie after having to deal with Iemitsu on a daily basis.

"So basically you're telling me to raise a kid."

"Yup!" Iemitsu swung his son up into the air. "Tsuna has been the best thing that has happened to me and to CEDEF! Look how strong we are now. Isn't that right, Tuna-fishy."

Lal disagreed. The reason why CEDEF was even stronger than before now was because Iemitsu turned exponentially more terrifying and unpredictable as his beloved son grew. CEDEF grew stronger as a whole in order to adapt to the crazy lion. "I am not interested in raising any sort of child or apprentice. I want to focus my attention on Xanxus, Squalo and everyone else's training thank you very much."

(Un)fortunately for her, Iemitsu was determined to get his point accross. After all, offspring are glorious. "But it's the perfect time for you to find one! After all, you are no longer cursed."

"You're afraid." Mammon chose this (un)fortunate moment to appear and ruin Lal's life. "You're afraid because of what happened with Colonnello."

Lal's silence told everyone that the other baby hit the nail on the head. Iemitsu smiled triumphantly.

"I don't see why you would need to worry. No one is as stupid as Colonnello and even if they wanted to do something very stupid, Colonnello would have already done it first."

Two more perfect strikes. Lal no longer had the will to argue.

The woman grumbled as she sighed in defeat. She turned to the mist arcobaleno slowly. "…Why are you so interested in finding me an apprentice?"

Mammon simply shrugged and faded away.

(It was definitely not so that he could develop some cards to hold against their fellow rain arcobaleno.

It was also definitely not so that he could create some potential favours against their fellow sun arcobaleno.

It was most definitely not so that he could have another servant for his current charge and himself in extension.

Tsuna blinked when he saw the catastrophic smirk that only he could see and shrugged it off.

The child is happy that Mama is happy.)

…

Lal Mirch sighed.

Iemitsu had all but hauled her into an orphanage and set her in front of a bunch of babies. She stared at the children with uncertainty. Does that idiot seriously think that she can raise a child the same size as her?

Behind her, Xanxus gave a similar sigh. All he could do was pray that his teacher doesn't get the brilliant idea that Xanxus should get a child too! Just like me!

Iemitsu remained oblivious to their headaches. "So which one do you want?" Spoken so causually it was as if they were shopping for groceries.

(Both Lal and Xanxus resisted the urge to punch him. They are in front of a bunch of impressionable kids. No need to cause them any childhood trauma.)

"Why don't you let Tsuna choose? Then he can have a new friend!"

(Even though Iemitsu had said 'friend', everyone else heard 'lapdog'.

At this point, no one would be surprised if the man decided to create an army for his son.

For no reason at all.)

"Son! Hmm…? Where did my Tuna-fish go?"

Xanxus inwardly rolled his eyes. It always amazed him how Iemitsu tried to be the role model parent for everyone in CEDEF. It just didn't work. "Tsuna wandered off earlier with Mammon."

…

"Close your eyes. Deep breath in. Deep breath out."

Tsuna obeyed unquestioningly.

"We want to find Lal the perfect person. What type of person will suit Lal?"

"Strong." The child murmured. "Very Strong."

"Picture it in your mind. Strength." The baby continued after the boy slowly nodded. "Go to that strength."

This was almost the same exercise Mammon tried with Tsuna a few months prior to locate Iris. Except things were slightly different this time.

An unknown terrain with an unknown target.

Not that it mattered though. There was no chance of failure.

Tsuna's graceful manuvering around the toys, walls and even stairs reinforced that point.

(Mammon could barely wait for the child to ignite his flame and heighten his intuition.)

The child walked steadily, beelining up the top of a second set of stairs and crashing straight into an older boy's back.

Neither baby, child nor boy expected that collision. Tsuna's eyes shot open and he instantly flailed as he fell backwards.

Mammon reacted just as quickly, immediately summoning illusionary pillows.

However, they weren't as fast as the boy.

The older boy grabbed Tsuna's arm, pulled him close and flipped before either of them hit the bottom of the stairs, landing right on his feet with the child still in his arms.

(The pillows had actually caused more harm than help. Not expecting the uneven surface, their saviour nearly tripped.)

Understandably, the whole ordeal left Tsuna in tears. He quietly sobbed as he clenched onto the older boy tightly, blabbling about something the older boy couldn't understand.

Mammon did though. He floated next to his charge. "Name."

The boy looked up. "Lancia."

Now, Tsuna's unintelligible mumbles turned into strings of 'Lan-nii's.

The arcobaleno nodded with satisfaction. "Follow." He turned and slowly floated back to the group. That went well.

(Mammon, however, made note to not do this experiment very often.

For some reason, the exercise always ends with Tsuna crying.)

.

 _(In a world where Basil ended up in foster care, Lancia would have ended up in Northern Italy.)_

.

Bond #11

.

.

.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Fed-nii!" Tsuna let go of Iris' hand to give Federico a hug. "Weapon!"

"Hmm?"

Iris patted the child on the head. "Yesterday, Tsuna helped Lancia choose a weapon. Now he wants to do the same for everyone else."

Federico nodded. He bent down to the child's eye level. "Good job Tsuna! What did Lancia get?"

"A big big big ball!" The child stretched his arms into a huge circle. "Very big!"

"A …ball?" Federico turned to Iris. Images of Lancia throwing basketballs, volleyballs and soccer balls running through his mind.

Iris nodded nonchalantly. "A wrecking ball."

"A wrecking ball?!" It took all of Federico's years of etiquette training to not gape widely.

The girl nodded once again. "The young lion took us to a weapon shop that happened to be next to a construction site." The child was so mesmerized by the huge swinging lump of metal that Iemitsu had decided that it was the perfect weapon for Lancia. Xanxus gave up on telling him it was a bad idea. After all, a wrecking ball as a weapon is not nearly as bad as having a lion as a cat.

(Xanxus assumed that no one would be able to swing a full sized wrecking ball around.

He assumed that for a wrecking ball to be an efficient weapon, it would need to be scaled down both in size and in density. Cannon or bowling ball size.

(Un)fortunately, the wielder in question would go onto become known as the 'strongest person in Italy'.

Had the leader of the CEDEF known, he would have forced Lancia to carry a feather as a weapon instead.)

Tsuna tugged on his big bro and big sis. "Let's go weapon!"

They let him lead the way. "On a related note, Basil got a boomerang and Dendro got a stick."

Federico blinked. "Stick? There's no way Dendro would be willing to carry a stick around as a weapon."

"He calls it a lance."

"Ah. That makes sense."

…

Neither teenagers knew what to expect when Tsuna led them to a closet and asked for the bag in the corner to be brought down.

They both stared at the ominous words on the side. 'Pervert kit'. Hastily scribbled on the bag with black marker. They didn't even need to say anything to know that it was something Iemitsu put together.

"Tsuna, did your papa give this to you?"

The boy nodded at Federico's question.

"And Xanny didn't throw it out." Iris unzipped the bag. "Well, knowing him, he probably asked Dendro to do it instead. Such bad judgement."

"Give my brother a break. He is still naive and innocent." Federico hoisted Tsuna up onto the table, where all of contents of the bag were being neatly spread out.

The kid's eyes lit up in excitement. He quickly pointed to a wide array of short whips. "Iris-nee's!"

Federico smirked. "I agree. Iris is a whip type of person."

"And Fed-nii's!"

Iris smiled back. "Good thinking Tsuna. Federico is definitely a chloroform and rope type of person."

"I take preference in this selection over a stick or a boomerang-"

"TONNO-CHANNNN!" Dino barged into the room. "Let's play!" He ran up to the table. "What are you guys doing?"

Iris grabbed one of the whips with lightning speed and slapped it against wrist when he made reach for the grenades.

Federico placed a hand on the horse's shoulder before the boy started whining. "Take this."

Dino unsuspectingly examined the rape whistle as Iris and Federico pulled Tsuna off the table and away. Without prompting, Mammon set up a sound proof barrier around them.

The horrifying sound filled the entire building seconds later.

"SHUT UP!" Xanxus ran into the room, hand over his ears. He took one single glance at Dino and threw him out the window. The rape whistle was crushed by his flame seconds later.

Federico smiled and waved at his brother.

Xanxus punched him.

…

In the end, Puledro had to get Dino a bull whip to appease his son.

.

.

.

* * *

.

.

.

Mammon slowly read through the medical report and hospital records of late Romeo: a son, brother and heartbreaker.

The man unfortunately didn't realize that there were some girls that he couldn't mess around him in this world.

…

The young man's legacy ends in the park.

Dendro, Iris, Lancia and Mammon agreed to take Tsuna and Basil to the park while an important CEDEF meeting was held in their building. After Lal and Xanxus glued Iemitsu to the chair, the six of them left peacefully. (Nana agreed to cook a grand lunch that would be held after the meeting.)

It was a nice day. There were a few clouds in the sky but it didn't seem like it was going to rain anytime soon.

Tsuna was merrily swinging on the swing when he suddenly spotted a colourful bird. Excited, the boy quickly got off the swing and began chasing after it.

"I've got this. You two stay with Basil." Iris stood up from her bench, putting her notes down, and followed after Tsuna. She was certain that Mammon was probably on or near Tsuna's head.

"Iris-nee!" The boy took her hand and pulled her deeper into the park, pointing at the bird. "Look, look!"

"A warbler. I'll show you a picture when we get home-" Both the boy and his blood sister stopped at the sight of something pink peeping out from behind a bush.

The pink thing turned out to be a girl. She was sobbing, too engrossed with her emotions to hear the bystanders walk towards her.

Tsuna didn't like to see people cry. He dug around his pockets and pulled out a bandage. "Where is the ouchie?"

Bianchi looked up, staring from the bandage held towards her up to the concerned child's eyes. She gave a messy smile. "Thanks, but a bandage won't help me."

The child panicked. "Bandage won't help?"

"Yeah." She sniffled. "I was dumped. Romeo was cheating on me with 5 other women… He said he would love me forever…!"

Mammon was vaguely familiar with a man named Romeo who was known for being mass dater. However, that man was nearing his forties. He must be at least 20 years older than the crying girl in front of them. (Mammon's estimation was correct. However, age was only a number to Bianchi. She knew true love for what it was.)

The girl continued to try to wipe the tears off her face. "I don't know what to do anymore. I've lost everything. All I need is love."

The arcobaleno floated back slightly as Iris gestured for her to take over. She gently held Bianchi's cheek and slid a stray tear away. "You're wrong. Love isn't what you need. It's family."

Bianchi blinked.

"Men are pawns." Iris had a gleam in her eyes. "That is why you must use their body to its fullest after you are done with them."

And that was when Mammon decided that this was enough for both Tsuna and himself to hear and took the boy away. He will never understand how women reason and he feels like it's better that way.

(Romeo was sent to the hospital in quick succession due to a variety of extreme poisoning cases. When Mammon reaches the part about his castration, he quickly closes the report. He remembers Iris returning home one day carrying a long thin pouch. He does not want to know.)

…

Whatever happened with Romeo had turned into a strong bonding experience between Bianchi and Iris.

They somehow ended up as best friends, with Iris somehow becoming Bianchi's role model-like elder sister figure.

And of course, anyone Iris is willing to bring into her life are required to absolutely adore Tsuna.

Not that it was difficult.

.

 _(In a world where Bianchi sought revenge on Romeo on her own accord, she experimented her poison on Hayato and eventually fell in love with Reborn.)_

.

Bond #12

.

.

.

Bianchi gave a long sigh as she watched Iris brush Tsuna's hair.

"How envious." She continued after receiving attention from the other two. "My own brother would never let me do that. He runs away whenever he sees me."

"Bianchi-san has a brother?"

The girl reached over and pinched Tsuna's cheek lightly. "One that isn't nearly as cute as you."

"You could bring him over some time."

Bianchi sighed once more. "He's busy with piano."


	11. Nana becomes a legend of her own

As a psychic, Mammon did have some abilities to foresee events. However, those abilities weren't very useful anymore.

Sawada Tsunayoshi's ability to change fate was more efficient and effective than Mammon's ability to read it. All of the mist arcobaleno's predictions were so yesterday.

In fact, he wouldn't even be surprised if Giglio Nero visions couldn't keep up with the boy either.

(Un)fortunately.

…

This is an absolute nightmare.

Actually, everything would be fine if it was a literal nightmare. In fact, Jaeger wished that he could just wake up already. Like right now.

The Vendice are bored.

They had spent the last century plotting revenge. Living for revenge. Dreaming about revenge.

Revenge was so important to them that they didn't have any time to develop any hobbies or alternate sources of entertainment in case their need for revenge disappears.

The fact that their all of their revenge was put out so abruptly (over a game of hide-and-seek) did not help the situation.

It was fine the first week. Everyone was drunk in joy over their goal being fulfilled.

It was also fine the second week. Everyone decided to focus on hunting down all the criminals to express their gratitude to the world.

Then it was not fine anymore.

You see, criminals do not come out of nowhere. Criminals are created from human desire and fearlessness.

With all of the Vendice guards more than eager to cleanse crime, it was difficult for the underground to remain fearless.

(It was difficult to not be scared of literally unkillable zombies that can teleport and attack with chains of infinite length.)

Naturally, any potential offender was absolutely terrified.

And terrified people do not make good criminals.

(Terrified people treated the Vendice as some sort of supernatural phenomenon. There were shrines sprouting around Italy like weeds, dedicated to worshiping every guard, and people were making serious offerings.

You knew that something was wrong when there were more shrines than Vendice guards themselves.

…In all of Jaeger's life, he would have never imagined that they would become some sort of cult figure.)

The result? Well, the underground became extremely well behaved whereas the Vendice guards were itching to hunt someone down.

With no one to hunt, they were forced to stay home and become NEETs.

And what do you do when you're both a NEET and Vendicare guard?

Complain to Jaeger.

This is an absolute nightmare.

(In order to put control of the situation, Jaeger required everyone to find a hobby or a past time. And no, hunting criminals does not count.)

And just as Jaeger thought the situation couldn't get any worse, Bermuda rejoined society after spending a month stabilizing the pacifiers in isolation.

Their boss gazed at the pile of bored corpses, looked over the critically low crime rates, glanced at the bizarre religion dedicated to their cause, stared at his empty desk that was once home to towers of paperwork and blinked.

Oh dear.

Bermuda has nothing to do.

.

 _(In a world where the destruction of the arcobaleno curse was more gradual, say following a highly climactic arcobaleno trial, the Vendice would have used up all of their energy at the said trial and would gently ease back to their previous routine._

 _They wouldn't have begun chasing offenders of the Cosa Nostra like a cat chasing its tail._

 _They wouldn't have scared the mafia world shitless.)_

.

.

.

Jaeger's estimates were slightly off.

While most of the mafia was scared, there was a certain group that was barely affected. An infantry of terrifying law enforcing beings of power going crazy with arresting people was nothing compared to the young lion of Vongola's sudden whims.

(CEDEF was affected by the Vendice. Their paperwork and workload in general suddenly dropped significantly. The more troubling famiglias and mafia men were trapped in high security cells so there was no point in trying to seek more information and hunt them down.)

Ever since the founding of Vongola, the entire famiglia had the rules of the Cosa Nostra ingrained into them so well that they could recite them in their sleep.

(Iemitsu, seeing this as the perfect opportunity, put his son and friends in a self hosted game show to teach them the rules.

Then he turned the commandments into song lyrics.

It will soon become a hit single and the anthem of the mafia.)

And well, if you knew the rules and followed them, there was no need to fear the Vendice.

(In fact, Iemitsu allows the security around Nana and Tsuna go lax.

He had already ensured that their faces were known to no one, as such, they could now freely wander the streets with minimal bodyguards as long as they don the increasingly popular Vendice cosplay.)

…

In response to his growing boredom, Bermuda decided to pay a visit to the child who started it all.

Sure, there was the confidentiality agreement he signed with the final mist arcobaleno, but that only prohibited the Vendice from contacting the boy.

Bermuda is above the Vendice.

Therefore he can happily seek Sawada Tsunayoshi without breaking any contracts.

(The above reasoning was all by Jaeger. The head of the Vendice guards did not want to deal with his boss' boredom. Especially when he already had his hands full with everyone else's.

Now all he can do is cross his fingers and hope that Mammon doesn't curse him.)

Locating the child was not very difficult even though he only had a general description of him.

All Bermuda had to do was sense all the flames in the area and check each of the sky flames one by one. Of course, this was only possible without an actual flame signature because the kid possessed sky flames and sky flame users are rare.

Still, it would be wise to read the boy's flames at the next opportunity.

After warping to a couple dozen people, the bandaged baby finally found the person who matched the profile of the kid the most with a woman, presumably his mother, and a sandy blond boy of approximately the same age at the market.

Before he can approach the trio, though, Bermuda found himself in an illusion.

"What are you doing here? Aren't there important artifacts that you need to protect?"

And that confirms that he does indeed have the right child. Bermuda turned slightly. "You are underestimating me, former mist arcobaleno Viper. That has been accomplished."

The final mist arcobaleno frowned a while, before clicking his tongue. "…You're bored so you want to bother my charge."

"Nonsense, I merely want to express my gratitude towards the boy."

Mammon didn't believe him in the slightest. "I will pass the message on for you. Now shoo. My charge's guardians" Iemitsu "wouldn't take your presence lightly."

"Naturally." Bermuda lifted his chin slightly. "The foolish humans have begun revering our cause."

Under his hood, Mammon actually rolled his eyes. Evidently, the Vendice haven't paid much attention to the logic-defying lion of Vongola. "Your cause has nothing to do with my charge. Don't forget that you and your minions owe me right now. Leave."

"The nature of the anonymity contract for your charge gives us reason to believe that the safety of the boy is of highest priority." Straightening his cape with a swift graceful movement, Bermuda lifted his chin higher. "There does not exist a location that is safer than being under my gaze."

Mammon snorted. "Safe from everyone but yourself."

"You have my assurance that nothing harmful will be done to the boy."

"Right. Because I was very concerned about my charged being abused by you." The mist arcobaleno did not look impressed. "I don't know why you are interested in my charge and I don't care to know. If you had any intentions of using him, just go return to your cemetery or wherever right now. And don't even try telling me you're concerned about the boy's safety. You won't do anything like that voluntarily without a signed contract. I know your type."

"Since you are the same. We know the nature of every arcobaleno that existed." Bermuda tipped his top hat. "So how much was your loyalty worth?"

Mammon gritted his teeth. "That is irrelevant. I was paid to protect my charge. So I will do everything I can to ensure that that happens."

"And you are currently doing a magnificent job of that."

"Of course-"

That was when the two former arcobaleno realized the trio had long disappeared while they were arguing.

Mammon immediately sneezed into a tissue. Seconds later, he disappeared.

As for Bermuda, he sighed and went back through the sensing and warping process. (After swearing to himself to actually get the boy's flame signature. This is getting annoying.)

...

10 minutes ago

Unlike Mammon, Tsuna did not pay much mind to the sudden baby visitor.

Instead, he was distracted by a owl.

(Any feathered distraction would give him the impulse to follow. No matter the time, place or occasion.)

Which was why Nana was not surprised when her son ran off after the bird, Basil desperately trying to keep up with him.

The boys ducked through a side street and out an alleyway, finally stopping at an intersection. The bird was nowhere to be seen.

"Which way, Tsuna-dono?"

Tsuna frowned, looking at his three possible paths in deep concentration. He abruptly swung his head left and ran down that road, turning another corner and running straight into a cheetah carrying a boy on his back.

Not expecting the collision, the cheetah squawked in surprise, false teeth flying out of his mouth and forcing Ken to return to his human body on top of Tsuna.

Chikusa had not fared any better, having flown off of Ken's back and onto Basil.

(In response to the growing fear of Vendicare, the Estraneo transported their most valuable research off to a new location.

During the disorganized and frantic movements, Ken and Chikusa found an opportunity to escape.

Mukuro had always reminded them that if they ever got a chance to leave their hell, just keep running and never look back.

And so, they ran.)

There was a reason why Ken was running as fast as he could. Two reasons actually.

Seeing that their test subjects escaped, it was only expected that the Estraneo would send men after them.

Ken knew this. Chikusa knew this. And judging by the fearful looks on their faces, Tsuna and Basil have also just met their gun wielding hunter.

Before any of them could react though, Bermuda's chains wrapped around all the boys as they were dragged into the shadows.

Not that it was necessary.

Tsuna and Basil had indeed wandered off while the two arcobaleno were preoccupied with each other, however their little adventure had not escaped the eyes of Nana.

She had followed after the kids as they rounded the corner and ran into Ken, Chikusa and the mafia man.

Nana gasped in surprise at the realistic looking weapons and kicked her right heel off her foot. Straight into the man's groin. Toe first.

The man groaned, dropping his gun in pain.

Meanwhile, Nana had kicked her left heel off when the other Estraneo man entered the alley. This time, the heel of the shoe met its target.

(Nana had always been lucky. (Un)fortunately, Tsuna only inherited half of her luck.)

Both men slouched in pain, failing to notice the woman calmly put earplugs on and walk up to them holding a very familiar looking object. An object her darling son had presented to her after choosing Iris and Federico's weapons.

Sawada Nana approached the two men, dragged them down by their collars and set off the rape whistle right beside their ears.

(This was the origins of the legend of the woman who defeated two gun wielding men with her shoes and a toy.)

…And that was the scene Mammon ran into when he finally found them.

(The subsequent events concerning Ken and Chikusa's fate were very easy to explain.

Nana wants the kids.

Nana gets the kids.

Ken and Chikusa somehow found themselves adopted.)

.

 _(In a world where Tsuna turned right, he and Basil would have ran into a marshmallow only to be rescued by Mammon and Ken and Chikusa would have been recaptured by the Estraneo.)_

.

Bond #13 & 14

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.

.

When later asked, Mammon claimed that he did not step in because he wanted to see how Tsuna would react to the bandaged arcobaleno.

In actuality, that was a lie. The mist arcobaleno arrived at the scene just slightly after Bermuda did, after the leader of the Vendice set up his chains and Nana took care of the mafia men. The only thing he was able to do was call the CEDEF to round up the two men and do damage control.

(Iemitsu took that explanation without hesitation. If his perfect tuna-fish thinks that the suspicious looking black top hat and cape wearing bandaged baby wasn't scary, then Iemitsu will welcome him with open arms.

Xanxus was much more skeptical but he wasn't suicidal so he kept his questions to himself.)

(Un)fortunately, Tsuna reminded himself of the reason why he went into this side street in the first place.

He has an owl to find.

The child quickly extracted himself from the chains and continued his chase down the road.

Sadly, since fate hated poor Tsunayoshi today, he never did end up finding the owl.

He barely left the road before a chihuahua appeared out of nowhere and barked at him.

Tsuna screamed in fear, falling to his knees.

(The only other thing that ever elicited the same reaction was the terrifying look on Dino's face whenever he wants to play.)

Usually, someone, specifically Iemitsu or Xanxus, would immediately remove the source of fear from Tsuna's vicinity whenever he was scared. However, everyone else was still dealing with the aftermath of the Estraneo men and did not notice what was happening to Tsuna.

The chihuahua kept barking.

Tsuna screamed once more and lit his flames.

And that was what Iemitsu found moments later. His son kneeling in the middle of the alley covered in flames, sobbing loudly and absolutely terrified.

He ran straight towards the boy, undeterred by the bright orange flames, and instantly grabbed Tsuna, holding him as close as he could. "Shhh, papa's here. It's ok, Tsuna. Papa's here. Papa will fix everything."

Iemitsu gave a sigh of relief as the sobs slowed down. He kept his son cradled in his arms, absentmindedly rubbing circles on his back, and analyzed the situation.

Quite naturally, he thought that the Estraneo men were the ones responsible for making his son cry. (Who would suspect a chihuahua?)

That left the young lion of Vongola was enraged beyond words. He was one step from issuing a hit order on the entire Estraneo famiglia before he felt his boy squirm.

Fortunately.

Tsunayoshi was looking down at his hands in absolute awe. Sure, he had seen flame cartoons and he had seen Xanxus shoot beams before, however he never knew that he could do that too.

"Papa!" Tsuna was staring at him with sparkling eyes, absolutely delighted that he had fire powers too. "Look! It's owange like papa's!"

Iemitsu lit his own forehead on fire, smiling as Tsuna reached for it. "Of course. Orange just like papa's."

.

 _(In a world where Tsuna kept crying, the entire Estraneo famiglia, including all of the remaining test subjects, would have been eradicated.)_

.

.

.

Back at the Estraneo, things were not any calmer.

After receiving no words from the two who were out to reclaim the experiments, the men assumed the worst.

"The Vendice are coming!"

Everyone collectively panicked for a good 5 minutes.

"What do we do?"

"Destroy everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, leave no evidence behind. Good thing we had the foresight to relocate #69 to France."

(As it turns out, the Vendice did not come. The Estraneo haven't technically broken any laws yet, since they only experimented on their own.

Besides, Bermuda was too busy messing with Mammon and playing with Tsuna.)

* * *

 **AN: Hi. I'm back. This chapter was an absolute pain to write and I'm still not fully satisfied with it. It went through many different versions. My original didn't even have any vendice involvement, to give some perspective. Thank you for all the reviews btw. I never expected to still get reviews after not updating so long. Each one lightens up my entire day, so really, thank you all a lot. I have had one complaint about my grammar (I'm surprised that there's only one actually. I thought I would get so much more.) and well I am bothered by my mistakes and I do have the urge to go back and fix all of my chapters. However, it is almost impossible for me to edit my own work because I keep skimming over it. orz. Since well, I wrote it, I have most of it by memory. As such, I keep reading what I think instead of what I actually read. I am certain that this chapter is full of mistakes as well even though I read over it a few times. Sorry if it bothers you. I can't do anything about it on my own.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **-1458**

 **Next time:** Bermuda finds a past time.


	12. Timeteo underestimates the Sawada Effect

Once upon a time, the CEDEF was very normal. For a large part of history, the External Advisor and subordinates stayed silently in the shadows, unnoticed by most of the mafia.

The CEDEF that Xanxus is familiar with is everything but normal.

Sawada Iemitsu is the creator of chaos, Sawada Nana embraced chaos like it was her child and Sawada Tsunayoshi attracted chaos like moths to a flame.

(Un)fortunately.

Years ago, when Sawada Iemitsu first became the External Advisor, Timoteo didn't think much of it.

He did not once questioning why Iemitsu became known as the Young Lion. It was surely because of how efficient and powerful the man was or something alike.

Vongola Nono is not wrong.

Iemitsu is very good at what he does whenever he puts his mind to it. However, rather than 'efficient', a better word to describe the Young Lion of Vongola would be 'petrifying'.

His mere presence could cause enemies to shake in fear, allies to cower away and his subordinates to freeze in jaw-dropping horror. (Or, if you are Xanxus, desperately try to perform damage control before it becomes a complete lost cause.)

Timoteo did not fall in any of the above categories. As such, he lacked the fundamental understanding of what Sawada Iemitsu is capable of.

Not that he would ever gain that knowledge, since Vongola Nono's primary concern is of his youngest son. Both of them.

You see, Timoteo doesn't know most of what happens in Xanxus' life.

He doesn't know about fanboy #1. He doesn't know about the crazy horse aka the bane of Xanxus' existence. He doesn't even know about Bester— I mean Vesta.

(Nono has planted spies in the CEDEF to tell him about Xanxus' experiences. But well. The current Italian dictionary was insufficient in explaining the phenomenon later known as the Sawada effect.)

This is because Xanxus is adamant about telling his father exactly nothing about his life, a habit shared by Federico.

And all Iemitsu ever talks about is how cute his son is.

That's it.

Not even anything about Tsuna's development.

(The longest personal conversation Nono had with his External Advisor only resulting in him learning how to say 'cute', 'adorable' and any other synonyms of that word in several languages.)

So when Timoteo started hearing rumours about a little flame demon of sorts roaming around the CEDEF, he forced himself into the situation.

Going so far as to clear out his schedule and personally make a trip to the CEDEF.

"Iemitsu, from what I understand, you want to keep young Tsunayoshi unknown to the mafia."

The Young Lion of Vongola nodded slowly, suspicious as to why his busy boss was making a house call at 7 in the morning. His son was asleep on the floor next to Basil, Ken, Chikusa and Dendro. (The man child planted the idea of a sleepover in their heads even though they already shared the same roof.)

"I've heard news that Tsunayoshi has awoken his flames. As you are familiar with, flames attract mafia. I believe that your son will be no exception, even with Mammon's assistance. If you'd like, I can seal his flames. The boy is too young to control them. Plus, having his flames sealed will also remove him as a candidate of inheriting Vongola."

Iemitsu fell silent, heavily contemplating the possible outcomes. Normally, he would agree to seal Tsuna's flames in a heartbeat. After all, no flames equals no mafia. (Un)fortunately, the look of pure joy Tsuna gave him when he first discovered his flames kept plaguing the External Advisor's mind. The fact that his son was currently staring up at him with his wide innocent sleepy eyes didn't help either.

Timoteo gave an understanding smile. "Sky flames are also very rare and difficult to control, something I'm sure Mammon can attest to." He glance at the former mist arcobaleno, who appeared half way through the discussion wearing a frown. "The only person suitable to train your son would be yourself and it would be difficult to do so with your busy schedule. Besides, I'm certain that you would rather spend quality time with the boy instead of training him, especially at this age. It will be difficult to find a qualified tutor that would both keep your son a secret and watch his flame development closely."

"I disagree with that notion."

Vongola Nono turned his head instantly, surprised by the voice and appearance of the bandaged baby. Mammon openly scowled. "What are you still doing here."

Bermuda didn't even turn to address the other baby. "I have full qualifications to be the boy's flame tutor."

Iemitsu laughed jovially, completely ignoring Mammon's frowns and death glares. "Alright! Then I'll leave my son in your care."

"Let us proceed with writing up the contract—"

"Wait." Timoteo forcefully injected himself into the conversation. "Wait. Who are you?"

Bermuda flipped his cape and lifted his chin. "I am Bermuda Von Veckenschtein, leader of the Vendice and the strongest flame user in the world. There is no one more expert than I for this position. I will make the boy my protege."

"Ridiculous." Mammon floated up beside the other baby and glared at him. The two of them proceeded to have a staring contest beneath their hood and bandage respectively as Iemitsu cheerfully began constructing a contract after gathering his curious son into his lap.

All Timoteo could mutter was 'why?'.

(In addition to not understanding Iemitsu's potential, Timoteo had failed to acknowledge Tsuna's hidden ability: the power of friendship.)

.

 _(In a world where Bermuda didn't decide to take Tsuna under his cape, the boy would have had his flames sealed and cried at the discomforting feeling of having lost a huge part of himself._

 _Iemitsu would be so heartbroken that he would have stolen dying will bullets to destroy the seal without Nono's knowledge.)_

.

Bond #15

.

.

.

"Hello Tsunayoshi. My name is Bermuda Von Veckenschtein. I am the one who would teach you everything about dying will flames."

Tsuna stopped admiring the feathers at the new baby's introduction. He turned towards Mama, eyes spinning with the long name. "Ber… um… Ber…?"

"Bermuda. He's going to teach you about your orange fire." Mammon smirked. "Just call him 'Dada'."

"Dada!" The boy exclaimed happily, to Bermuda's absolute horror. "Dada!"

The bandaged baby faked a cough into his fist. "I admit that my name is difficult for a child such as yourself to pronounce. Please refer to me as 'Ber'. 'Dada' is…"

"Dada!"

Iemitsu laughed. He patted his son's head. "Take care of Tsuna, Dada."

"…"

(Let it be known that Mammon refuses to suffer alone.)

And so Bermuda became Tsuna's Dada because of Mama.

.

.

.

There are two universal truths about Sawada Nana.

First: you don't say no to Nana. Second: children will adore Nana.

This was what Iris' learnt first hand. (Despite not considering herself a child.)

It started like this.

When Iris suddenly found herself the adopted sister of Tsuna, she was naturally apprehensive.

Everything was happening at the speed of Iemitsu.

All of Iris' possessions were already relocated into the private quarters of the CEDEF, strewed around and inside a large bedroom that was apparently hers, judging by the colourful sign of her name nailed on the door.

The young lion of Vongola was standing in the center of the mess directing everyone around.

Xanny was running around carrying boxes as his lapdog followed behind like a baby chicken. (Which Federico gleefully captured on film.)

There was a round man sporting a Mohawk vacuuming the floor with one hand and dusting the shelves with another.

Sawada Nana was fluttering around the place keeping everyone fed. She paused after giving the girl a cookie.

"Iris-chan, your bed isn't set up…" Nana glanced at the boxes around the room and the clothes on the bed. "Why don't you sleep with me and Tsu-kun tonight?"

The girl bit her lip. She had never slept in the same bed as another person and it seems embarrassing. "I can take the guest room—"

Nana was staring at her with wide brown eyes. "Nonsense! You are Tsu-kun's sister and my daughter now."

"I…" Iris glanced down when she felt a tug on her shirt. Tsuna was staring up at her like his mother did. Iris looked back at Nana. "…Alright."

That was when Nana smiled a motherly smile that contained the power of all mothers combined.

And then Iris lost the ability to refuse Nana.

(If Nana had flames, they would be heart flames without a question.)

…

When Iris first met Nana's newly adopted boys, she turned to Federico betted that the traumatized distrusting kids would be converted in a day.

Federico betted a week.

It took Nana one hour.

The kids already had a very good impression of the woman when they witnessed her single handedly defeat their literal nightmare. All Nana needed to do was smile her motherly smile and the kids were soon attached to her like little koalas.

…

"I am worried about Ken-chan and Chi-kun." Nana continued when she saw everyone's attention on her. "There were weird people chasing after them. What if the men had diseases?"

Iemitsu nodded in agreement. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'll get them checked. We kept them in a cage downstairs. Xanxus, can you go?"

The External Advisor bit in the retort that he wasn't a vet and the men aren't rabid dogs. Instead, he sighed and left obediently.

"As for the boys, I will find them a good doctor." Iemitsu turned to Lal. "Shamal would be the best choice but he only treats women."

Lal frowned. "They are from Estraneo. Verde would be a better option."

"Good point." Iemitsu lifted his head and called out into the air. "Mammon, can you 'convince' him to give Ken and Chikusa an examination?"

There was a silent pause before Mammon's voice filled the room. "Verde owes me."

"You mean he owes Tsuna for the rest of his life." Lal clarified.

Another pause. "Same thing."

.

.

.

Mama was annoyed.

His moodiness was not because he had to bring Nana, Ken and Chikusa to Verde while having to keep the identities and relations of all three of them completely confidential else risk Iemitsu ranting his head off.

(Mammon would mute it out anyways.)

Mama was annoyed because of Dada.

"I do not see any issues with such an arrangement." Bermuda straightened his hat. "I will begin my training regiment with the boy while you fulfill the appointment with the final lightning arcobalno."

"You are doing this on purpose."

"Contrary. I am simply being efficient. Rest assured, the boy will return in perfect condition."

Mammon evidently wasn't reassured with the other baby's words. He floated to Iris. "Watch over that guy. If he does anything suspicious, get out of there."

Iris rolled her eyes at Mammon's paranoia but nodded nonetheless.

The mist arcobaleno then floated down to his charge. "Don't listen to everything Dada says." He tapped the kid's forehead. "Listen to this."

Tsuna nodded enthusiastically. He will follow Mama's instructions. Perfectly.

((Un)fortunately.)

…

Bermuda is incapable of using illusions.

Therefore his version of keeping Tsuna safe and under radar while teaching him flames was to do it in a middle of nowhere.

Which was precisely what he decided to do, leading Iris and the boy deep into a dense forest (and leaving an irritated Iris pulling twigs out of her and Tsuna's hair).

"Let us begin, child." Tsuna walked into the middle of the small clearing and emulated the postures of the CEDEF trainees, standing as straight as he can. "Lesson one: you must seek revenge."

Iris stopped pulling leaves out of her hair to stare at Bermuda. "…Revenge?"

"Correct. The key to strengthening dying will flames is to master the feeling of revenge."

"Um…" Tsuna raised his hand. "What's revenge?"

"Revenge is the burning resolve to exact justice."

Tsuna blinked. He then turned to Iris, who was frowning. He mirrored her frown and turned back to Bermuda.

"…Then let us perform a thought experiment. Boy, imagine that everyone had been brutally murdered."

Once again Iris was frowning when Tsuna turned to look at her. She met his gaze. "He means that everyone has died."

"Oh…" This time, the boy scrunched his face in confusion. "But everyone will not die."

"Of course, this is just a thought experiment-"

Tsuna shook his head. "They will not die. Papa will protect everyone."

"…Yes, but let us imagine that Sawada Iemitsu is also dead—"

The boy looked confused. "But papa can't die."

"Tsuna, pretend that your papa has gone to a meeting," Iris paused thoughtfully. "He went to a meeting with Xanny, Mammon, Lal, Lancia, Federico and everyone else."

"Ok. Papa is at a meeting."

"…Alright." Bermuda faked a cough. "So Sawada Iemitsu is at a meeting. Now imagine that everyone is dead."

Tsuna once again frowned. "They will not die."

"Let us just pretend—"

The child shook his head, eyes beginning to glow a beautiful bright orange. "They will not die. If papa's not here I will protect them." Tsuna closed his eyes and concentrated on the weird feeling in his head, just like mama always told him to. "I will protect everyone."

Unbeknownst to Tsuna, at that moment he ignited his flames, causing them to burst out.

Even Bermuda was awe stricken when the surrounding area was filled with a warm protective sensation.

(Iris smiled, unfazed by the massive amount of flames. This was Sawada Tsunayoshi, the son of Iemitsu and Nana. Of course he can do such a thing.)

(As it turns out, Tsuna never needed a flame teacher or anything of that sort.

All he will ever need is Mama's constant reminder to trust the weird feeling in his head.

…That would be something Bermuda prays that Mammon would never find out.)

…

Unbeknownst to Bermuda, the apparent isolated place he chose to conduct his training session wasn't as isolated as he wanted it to be.

Deeper inside the forest resided a swordsman who was suffering an incurable disease.

He knew that his lifespan was limited and was willing to sell his soul to the devil just to be cured.

So imagine what happened when one day, while he was moping around in his little cottage, the sky suddenly turned orange and he was miraculously cured.

Naturally, he would run out of his house and stumble across the source of the heavenly fire.

Obviously, he would declare the boy his lord and saviour.

(The scientific explanation would be that Genkishi was born with flame instability that was causing him to suffer from different ailments as a result. The harmonization factor of the large amount of sky flames realigned his own flames and fixed his problem.

Not that Genkishi cares.

Psh science.

This is clearly a miracle of the gods.)

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Bond #16

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 _(In a world where Genkishi wasn't cured by Tsuna, he would have become Byakuran's fanboy #1 instead.)_

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Mammon stared blankly. "I leave Tsuna in your care for a few hours and he gains a puppy."

"It was meant to happen."

"Right."

"It was meant to happen." Bermuda repeated, lifting his chin. "I see nothing wrong with allowing the boy to have another slave."

"Sure."

They both tried to ignore the prostrating man in front of the frantic boy, all but licking his feet in reverence.

"…It was meant to happen."

Nearby, Xanxus stood there, completely dumbfounded at the existence of Tsuna's fanboy #1. He thought his own was bad enough. Tsuna's blew everything out of proportion.

(An unpleasant thought occurred to Xanxus soon after.

What if his fanboy took inspiration from this one?

That would be terrible.

Xanxus was beginning to consider blinding his fanboy. Just in case.)

Meanwhile, Iemitsu gave his son a thumbs up and a big smile, happily ignoring his son's desperate glances to be saved from this crazy person.

He found it absolutely adorable.

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 _(In a world where Genkishi wasn't cured by Tsuna, Bermuda would have still had Xanxus' respect.)_

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* * *

 **AN: Hi. I'm amazed that I managed to cough out this chapter. I'm amazed that I didn't end up procrastinating more... This not as difficult to write as I initially thought it would be. orz. Well anyways, to address something first. Mukuro. Tsuna is about 3 right now (since he looked about 3 when Nono sealed his flames in the anime. I'm using the same ball park.) Which makes Mukuro about 4. Since he didn't massacre his famiglia until later on in life, I'm assuming that he doesn't have his eye yet. Personally, I would rather write a Mukuro with the eye and creepiness instead of without. It would be too OOC and boring. So yeah, don't expect Mukuro until he gets his eye, or at least go through the cycle of reincarnation once. He probably won't end up getting his full eye anyways, cause I don't want him to appear last... Similarly, Hayato is not going to appear any time soon either, cause he's being a piano prodigy right now. As a spoiler, Hayato is not going to appear until Tsuna goes to Japan. They will not cross paths in Italy. Everyone else is fair game.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** Federico learns the joys of chloroform.


	13. Lussuria finds Xanxus absolutely dashing

Iemitsu had hired Mammon all those years ago for the sake of keeping his son hidden from trouble. Years later, he 'hired' Bermuda for the sake of protecting his son after he got into trouble.

In hindsight, what he should have done was hire someone to keep his son away from trouble.

And Sawada Tsunayoshi had a lot of talent for finding trouble, a skill that the two arcobaleno fostered delicately.

(Un)fortunately.

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Like Xanxus' fanboy #1, Tsuna's fanboy #1 was a dedicated person obsessed with medieval chivalry and had no common sense. Unlike Levi, however, Genkishi was more than happy to suggest methods of devotion.

One such example was the brilliant idea to carry Xanxus around on a huge throne. (The only reason why Tsuna didn't get his own throne was because his fanboy #1 had read up about childhood and development intensively and determined that the child needed to walk on his own to develop the necessary bone and muscle strength.)

Xanxus stared at the grand throne presented in front of him. It was evidently hand-crafted using the finest materials around, built just small enough to manage to fit through the door.

It was evidently also not a dream, judging by the hysterical laughing fit Squalo was in.

(Xanxus took a deep breath and expelled slowly. Then he walked to the chair and elegantly sat down.

Once properly seated, he held open his hand and fanboy #1 placed a glass on it without prompting.

Xanxus threw the glass at Squalo.)

Iris turned her head as Federico started towards the exit. "You're not staying to watch the comedy?"

Federico hummed sadly. "I forgot my high definition video camera at home. Tell me how this goes."

The girl drew her eyes back to the scene as Xanxus threw another glass at Squalo. "Gladly."

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Federico hummed contently as he watched the world through his camera lens. It was a shame that he couldn't film 'Xanxus getting his first throne', but he will resolve to never miss a moment again.

Especially since his camera spotted Massimo knocked unconscious and being tied to a concrete block next to a lake surrounded by five young men.

Perfect.

This scene will make up for Federico's losses.

Quietly sneaking behind a tree, Federico arranged the recorder between two branches, positioning the view to the best angle. Then he took some rope out and tied it around the base of the trees, several centimeters above the grass, surrounding the side of the pond. (It never hurts to have a contingency plan.)

Once satisfied, he reached into his pant pocket and pulled out his trusty bottle of chloroform. Unfortunately, Federico lacked the foresight to pack a handkerchief or even napkins. Oh well. He will have to make do.

With that, the third Vongola son snuck up to the closest man and smothered his face with the knocking agent.

The man fell almost instantly.

Federico blinked in surprise and grinned.

This chloroform is chemically designed. (Of course the Young Lion of Vongola would get the best stuff for his darling son.)

Interesting.

Wonder what the composition is.

(While it is true that Federico was neither the strongest or the fastest, he was personally trained by Lal and Iemitsu.

He has made it through some of the most insane training regimes.

Sneaking on 5 trained mafia men one at a time while they are distracted with trying to drown his brother is a cake walk.)

The teenager's train of thought was broken as he heard the shouts of some men. He looked up in time to see two men run towards him and promptly trip on the amateur rope 'trap' that Federico laid out.

Laughing, he ran over and quickly sedated the newcomers as well.

Lal will be so proud.

Shame he couldn't get a better angle on their spectacular fall.

…

Federico hummed in absolute glee as he stared at the eight unconscious bodies around him.

One of them was his nearly ill fated brother, whom Federico didn't even bother to move because he's probably not strong enough to anyways.

The other seven though… the young Vongola will make sure that he has a whole lot of fun with them.

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Enrico furrowed his eyebrows at the scene before him.

After carefully stepping over the rope, he made his way down to where his younger brother was filming his handiwork.

"…Federico…?"

"Ah fratello. I found these men trying to drown Massimo."

The eldest brother frowned at the unconscious bodies spread across the grass. Or he attempted to anyways.

It was hard to keep a straight face when the men were arranged to boldly spell 'VONGOLA' with their bodies.

(Everyone remained ignorant of the fact that spelling vongola with the bodies was one of the more innocent things that Federico had done to the unconscious men.

Those images and videos will remain hidden.

Hidden until the day that Federico needs a favour from Mammon.)

Once he regained his composure, he gestured his men to bring the bodies to interrogation.

"Were you responsible for knocking them out?"

Federico shrugged, lifting the half a bottle of chloroform for his brother to see.

Enrico's eyes widened with curiosity. "Where did you get that from?"

Federico stared at the bottle thoughtfully. Enrico is his brother by blood. It would be a terrible injustice to lie about the fact that this bottle was originally a gift from Iemitsu to Tsuna as a result of Xanxus' failure to prevent Dino from kidnapping the boy which was then given to him by Tsuna because of Xanxus' ineptitude to dispose of Iemitsu's gift properly. Federico looked up to meet his brother's eyes and smiled a sincere honest smile.

"I got this because of Xanxus."

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 _(In a world where Federico didn't return home to get his camera to film Xanxus' misfortune, Massimo would have been rescued by Enrico only to succumb to the same treatment years later by the same people.)_

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* * *

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"Last night, I had a dream."

Normally, when Iemitsu has the burning desire to announce his random thoughts, the rest of the CEDEF would tune him out as he rambled on.

(Un)fortunately, it is difficult to do so when the young lion decided to share his feelings in the middle of a speech at an important meeting.

"I dreamt that Tsuna was an angel!"

Everyone took a collective sigh of relief.

(It could have been much worse. Much much worse.)

"Master, Tsuna is already an angel."

"Especially considering who his father is." Xanxus muttered.

Iemitsu's eyes glittered. "He is, isn't he?"

"Yes he is." Lal stressed slowly, pulling out a gun. "So can we get back to work now."

"Of course~" Iemitsu sang. He happily flipped through his notes and continued where he left off. The young lion of Vongola was evidently elated.

Xanxus shuddered.

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"My little tuna fishy! Guess what?"

Tsuna peered over Iemitsu's head curiously at the scenery below.

"You're an angel!"

The boy gripped his father's hair tighter. The weird feeling in his head was tingling.

"And since you're an angel, you can fly!"

That was the only warning Sawada Tsunayoshi had before his father threw him off his shoulders and down the cliff.

"HIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Fly Tsuna, fly!" Iemitsu screamed back, throwing his arms in the air like he was a cheerleader.

Bermuda turned to the arcobaleno beside him. "You're going to leave the child be?"

Mammon shrugged as he continued to tap on his cell phone. Xanxus burst through the trees seconds later.

"What? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE KID?!" He ran over and looked over the edge at the falling child. "ARE YOU AN IDIOT?"

Iemitsu had the galls to cross his arms at him. "I'm just training him to fly like an angel."

Xanxus was utterly stunned. Aren't parents supposed to warn their kids to _not_ jump off high places because they _can't_ fly? He glared at the two former arcobaleno.

Mammon shrugged once more. "There are nets set up at the bottom."

"Tsunayoshi's slave is also running around down there trying to catch him, along with some members of the Vendice." Bermuda pitched in.

"HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOSSED IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Xanxus roared. He charged his guns up with his flames and jumped down the ledge.

(Tsuna is currently a very sensible and sane child.

The last thing Xanxus wants is for the boy to hit his head on something and turn into someone like his father.)

…

It took Tsuna 15 seconds of screaming before he realized that yes, he is still falling and no, no one is going to help him.

Then he screamed once again in horror as he looked around for whatever the weird feeling was telling him to look at.

The weird feeling was actually telling him to look up, where he would have saw Xanxus coming down after him like a firey saviour.

Tsuna, however, interpreted the weird feeling as telling him to look down.

If the boy had a normal upbringing, he would have saw nothing of importance and eventually lifted his head to look up.

(Un)fortunately, Sawada Tsunayoshi had spent a lifetime strangely obsessed with birds to the point that he was able to spy the tiny pidgeon flying lowly in the distance.

That single moment before the pidgeon flew into the trees was enough to burn the image into to little Tsuna's mind.

The boy then stopped squirming and spread his arms.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and released the weird feeling bubbling inside his head.

All Xanxus could do was sigh as large orange wings made of sky flames formed on his crazy mentor's son. TXhe wings flapped once and then the boy flew past him in a burst of speed before happily falling into Xanxus' arms on the way down.

Xanxus sighed once more as the two of them flew back to the top of the cliff.

Theres no way Iemitsu would ever shut up about his little angel again.

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 _(In a world where Tsuna didn't spy a bird as he was freefalling, his 'flying instructor' would have been Xanxus, causing him to shoot flames from the palms of his hands to fly.)_

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* * *

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Kakippi is an idiot.

A huge huge idiot.

Ken growled and threw himself onto the grass.

"Gao."

"Cat!" Ken reached over and scratched Natsu's head affectionately. "You're my new best friend." He declared, gathering the animal into his arms. "I don't need Kakippi anymore!"

"Gao?"

"Kakippi doesn't care about Mukuro-sama at all!" Ken rolled around in the grass. "Stupid Kakippi keeps following that pink woman around!"

It was all that woman's fault.

She just had to show Chikusa her brand new poison cooking technique.

Then Chikusa just had to join in.

What's so interesting about mixing liquids together anyways?

…

(Actually, the story went like this.

Chikusa went to the kitchen to get Ken a snack one day and stumbled on Bianchi cooking.

Bianchi, seizing the opportunity, gave Chikusa a cookie and made him eat it on the spot.

(The boy was never a big fan of sweets but reluctantly ate it anyways under the unwavering gaze of the older girl.)

Dendro found Chikusa moments later, huddled against the wall clenching his stomach.

Being a victim himself, the man quickly took him to the medical ward and gave him the proper treatment.

Not before he loudly declared that Bianchi should get a taste of her own poison. (Before he was called by Iemitsu to clean the bathroom.)

And so Chikusa, who held somewhat of a grudge for being poisoned by a confectionery in his own home, began to plan his revenge.

He sought out Iris.

(While it is true that Iris and Bianchi are friends, Iris had set a wall around herself from everyone but her family, which are currently only Sawada Nana and her children.

Being adopted by Nana, Iris also considered Ken and Chikusa as one of her own.

To Iris, nothing was more important than her family.)

Iris took Chikusa to Federico.

(Federico had announced to his father that he was interested in the field of chemistry with an unassuming smile on his face.

Timoteo gave his son a smile back and a full laboratory.

Vongola Nono never did find out why half of his staff felt drowsy a month afterwards.)

Federico gave an amused hum and whipped out a specially designed poison a day later.

Then, Chikusa stalked Bianchi for a total of three hours before he hid behind a curtain, took some needles that Iris provided, dipped them in the poison that Federico provided and loaded it into the yoyo that Tsuna provided.

The pink haired girl fell before she fully comprehended what she was struck with.

(Of course, Federico caught the entire thing on tape.)

Normally, Bianchi would raise hell for being hospitalized due to poisoning.

However, this is her best friend, her best friend's brother and her best friend's brother's cousin.

So instead of contempt, Bianchi actually devolped feelings of admiration.

With that, she decided to join arms with Chikusa and Federico.

And that is the story of how the Poison Scorpion was formed.)

…

Chikusa silently sighed as he roamed the halls, searching. He spotted the pet cat and his friend through a window and made his way into the garden. "Ken—"

"Go away!" The boy laying on the grass growled at him and covered his eyes. "I don't need you! I'll look for Mukuro-sama on my own!"

"Gao?" Natsu paddled aside as Chikusa took a seat next to Ken. Seeing the two boys not paying any more care to him, the lion kitty ran inside to seek Tsuna's attention.

"Ken, you're going to make kaa-san unhappy."

In a flash, Ken sat up and glared at his friend. "But we need to find Mukuro-sama! Then kaa-san can adopt him too."

"No—" Chikusa didn't even flinch when Ken grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "Ken. Listen."

"What? That we should be happy with our lives now and forget about the past?! That's—"

Chikusa kept his hand over Ken's mouth. "Listen. I've asked Xanxus-san to help us. We can't do anything on our own. We need help." He slowly removed his hand.

Ken twitched, wanting to retort and insist that they search for Mukuro themselves but reluctantly agreeing with Chikusa. He bowed his head with a grumble.

"Xanxus-san is working on it." Chikusa met Ken's eyes. "We will find Mukuro-sama."

Ken silently allowed Chikusa to be his best friend again.

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* * *

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It would take years later for Xanxus to finally realize that every time he goes somewhere with Tsuna, something (un)fortunately life changing would happen.

Of course, that epiphany hasn't happened yet so here Xanxus was, peacefully walking with Tsuna to run a minor errand.

The boy's eyes were wandering everywhere as per usual, studying every feathered creature that he spotted.

(Before Tsuna entered his life, Xanxus had no idea this many birds existed.)

Suddenly, Xanxus felt a tug on his sleeve.

He looked down, slowly following Tsuna's gaze and was prepared to tell him that he had no idea what species of bird that was before he saw the colourful feathered boa.

Xanxus blinked.

Well that certainly wasn't a bird.

The boss of CEDEF found himself staring at the boa as well. It would make quite a good gift for the child holding his hand. He has plenty of time to have one custom made before Tsuna's next birthday.

"Xan-nii?"

Xanxus blinked. That was when he realized that the man wearing the feathered boa had caught him staring.

Awkward.

"Ahem." Xanxus started, meeting the man's eyes. "I was just wondering where you got those feathers."

The man strutted towards him, swaying his boa proudly. "Oh these?"

"Yeah."

"I made this myself." He purred.

That's convenient. "Do you sell them? Could you make one for me—"

"Lussuria. That's my name." Lussuria batted his eyelashes and handed Xanxus a card. "You want one like mine?"

"Yeah."

"Juuust like mine?"

"Yeah."

"Oh that's adorable." Lussuria squealed. "You certainly know how to court a man!"

Xanxus twitched slightly. "I what?"

"Sweetheart!" Lussuria swooned. "I have fallen for you!"

"What." Xanxus could just feel his brain short circuiting.

The taller man bent down till their noses almost touched. "I will become your bride~" He winked.

"N-no." The External Advisor stuttered. "No, I am fine."

Lussuria giggled. "Yes, you're such a fine creature…"

"I'm taken!"

There was a moment of pure silence. Tsuna looked up to his Xan-nii in confusion. Xanxus swore that he could hear Mammon snicker.

"I am taken." Xanxus repeated himself. "Uh. Arranged marriage. To a girl."

Lussuria's lower lip twitched in sorrow. "Oh. That's too bad. What is your darling's name?"

All Xanxus could do was name the only name that he could think of.

(Un)fortunately.

…

Days later, Lussuria somehow tracked Xanxus down, applied to CEDEF and was accepted.

One of the first things he did was loudly compliment his new boss to his boss' fiancé. By name.

Of course, he did that in front of the entire Sawada family. (And a gleeful Federico, who caught the entire thing on film.)

Unfortunately.

(Xanxus had to spend an entire day to convince his beloved mentor to postpone the official engagement until after he was of age.

Sadly, he could not convince his beloved mentor's wife from beginning the wedding planning. She is even going plan it Vongola style.

Depressingly, his bride-to-be didn't particularly care about her sudden relationship status and even demanded a ring. Because she can.)

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 _(In a world where Xanxus didn't lie, Lussuria would have continued his advances till he won.)_

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* * *

 **AN: It's been a long time. orz. I wanted to get this out for the holidays as a gift to everyone who reviewed, followed and favourited this story. Thank you. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I spent a lot of time rearranging plot points/ideas. My notes are a mess. I'm also running on low sleep. Ugh. (Also, I'll probably have to rewrite some of the plot for my next chapter because I never expected Xanxus to get himself engaged. XD. His 'fiance' is Iris, if it isn't clear to anyone. I am also wondering which character you would like to see 'bonded' with Tsuna the most. My thoughts are really incoherent right now. I need to go sleep.**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** Xanxus ruins the Varia


	14. Genkishi follows his so called destiny

Every year, on the same day, Xanxus for once turns a blind eye on Iemitsu's actions.

That day is October 14th. The birthday of the crazy man's one and only son.

(Xanxus can't reign Iemitsu on a regular day.

There is no way that he is going to attempt to talk some sense into his mentor on the day that he actually tries to outdo himself.)

This year, when asked about his plans, Iemitsu proudly declared that he was going to present Tsuna with a puppy.

Xanxus eyed the huge gift-wrapped box on the floor with suspicion. The menacing smiley faces on the wrapping paper stared back at him.

Yeah no. There is no way that was just a 'puppy'.

(Probably a wolf, considering his track record of calling a lion a cat.)

The teenager slowly circled the box several times. There was no movement from whatever was inside.

Which meant that it wasn't a large animal. Which was good. Very good.

It didn't mean that whatever was inside the box wasn't deadly, though.

Xanxus silently pushed his thoughts away and left the room.

(Deadly is fine as long as it is small. Small meant that it could be trained or caged.

Small meant that it could be subjected to Iemitsu's animal brainwashing abilities.)

Of course, when regards to Sawada Iemitsu, Xanxus was usually off the mark when predicting the man's actions.

(Not that it would help if he could guess his mentor 100% of the time anyways.

Few people could stop the Young Lion of Vongola once he has made up his mind.

Xanxus was not one of them.

Prior knowledge would not make a difference with anything other than to give Xanxus some time to brace himself for the inevitable.)

Xanxus let himself ignore the box for the rest of the morning.

…

"Happy birthday Tuna-fishy! Open my present first!" Iemitsu quickly dragged his beloved boy in front of the large box.

Tsuna looked puzzled at the box for a few seconds before he turned to his father. "Thank you, papa."

(Seeing the kid's uncertainty when regarding his present, Xanxus quickly slid next to the boy while Mammon dispelled the invisibility illusion around himself.

Xanxus has long recognized that Tsuna's hyper intuition is nearly prophetic. Uncertainty to him most likely means a future headache to Xanxus.

Watching Tsuna reach for the huge orange ribbon tying the box together, the head of the CEDEF inwardly chanted a prayer to whatever deity would listen to him.

Please let this be a wolf. Please let this be a wolf.

(Xanxus' prayers remained unanswered.

(Un)fortunately.))

Tsuna carefully untied the orange ribbon and tore the smiley faced wrapping paper. Slowly, he lifted the top of the box.

"Hie!"

Inside, sat curled into a ball, was a red-haired boy. The boy lifted his head nervously, revealing his bright red eyes and the orange collar around his neck.

Tsuna frantically tore apart the box (with the help of Xanxus once he regained his bearings).

Iemitsu kneeled down to his son in concern. "Do you not like your new puppy?"

"U-uh." Tsuna stuttered in confusion as his 'puppy' quickly latched on to him. Tsuna hugged him back and turned to Xanxus for help.

Xanxus stood up, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Teacher, come with me. We need to talk."

(Why couldn't it be a wolf?!)

…

(The 'puppy's' name turned out to be Enma.

Iemitsu refused to tell Xanxus where the boy came from.

Tsuna refused to allow Iemitsu call him anything other than Enma.

Enma refused to leave Tsuna's side despite being (or, perhaps, because he was) terrified of the blond man who brought him here.

Mammon refused to help Xanxus bring the boy home, citing that Iemitsu wouldn't just kidnap a boy and there must be a much more complicated backstory as to why the boy was here.

Xanxus refused to be convinced that Mammon genuinely thinks that Iemitsu rescued Enma. He is probably just trying to justify giving Tsuna a human.

Nana refused to believe Iemitsu's story that Enma is a puppy. The boy is clearly Tsuna's long lost twin brother.

Federico refused to put his camera down.)

…

Enma had never gotten along with anyone before that faithful day.

He was born smaller than everyone else, responded slower than everyone else and was clumsier than everyone else.

That was something the entire island knew about.

He remembered how he was teased by all the other children

He remembered how his parents looked at him with soft, pitying eyes.

Then that man invaded his life.

That man had a long conversation with the adults.

(His parents refused to meet him in the eye.)

The next thing he knew, he was taken away.

He was put in a boat.

Then he was put in a box.

(Enma doesn't quite remember when exactly Iemitsu bought and fitted him in the orange dog collar, but it must have happened between the boat and the box.)

The next thing he saw was light.

Tsuna had shrieked when he first saw him, face full of concern, and tried to get him out as quickly as he could.

Tsuna didn't reject him when he crawled forward to latch onto him.

Tsuna hugged him back.

Tsuna was warm, the flame in his veins calling out to Enma.

Enma gladly accepted it with all of his heart and soul.

(No, he didn't have a spiritual awakening like Genkishi did. But it was really damn close.)

He will never forgive Sawada Iemitsu for putting him inside a box.

That doesn't mean that he would stop loving Tsuna though.

(Any normal kid would have probably been traumatized for life after what Iemitsu put him through.

Luckily for Xanxus, Tsuna was special.

The boy had the power to reign in some of his father's destruction.

Unfortunately, it was only some.

Xanxus will patiently wait for the day that Tsuna becomes capable of controlling all of Iemitsu's chaos.)

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Bond #17

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 _(In a world where Iemitsu rejected the proposal to give his son Enma instead of the island, the two would have met on Shimon island, on two opposite sides of the battlefield.)_

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Tsuna and Enma, at the insistence of Iemitsu, began going on walks every morning.

(Despite Iemitsu's best efforts to get his son to use the leash, Tsuna refused on the principle that he'd rather hold Enma's hand.

The moment Xanxus found out, he intervened and burned it to ash.

It's bad enough that Enma was still wearing that collar of his own volition.

He even added a metal tag with Tsuna's name engraved on it.

…Xanxus decided to pretend that Enma was an actual wolf to console himself.)

Sometimes, they would go with Iris, Ken, Chikusa, Basil, Dendro or whoever was free.

On this particular morning, they went alone.

Relatively alone at least, with Genkishi shadowing behind them like an obvious ninja and an invisible Mammon sitting on Tsuna's shoulder.

It was just like any other walk. Nothing eventful save for the fact that Enma tripped and fell at least a dozen times.

Just like every other day.

After one particularly nasty fall, Tsuna led Enma to a nearby bench and began treating his scratched knee.

(Nana gave Tsuna a little first aid kit, which the boy now carries on his person at all times.)

During this uneventful incident on this uneventful walk, Genkishi saw them.

To be more accurate, he saw her, then noticed the unfamiliar face next to her.

Intimately next to her.

Somehow sensing Genkishi's stare, Aria snapped her head to his direction and almost screamed.

"Genkishi?!"

She ran towards him. The young man she was with following behind her.

(Genkishi spared a second to glance towards the two boys but found that they were no longer visible, hidden by Mammon's flames.)

Aria hesitated. "Genkishi? Is that really you? Where were you this whole time? Mother was really worried."

"I found a new master." The swordsman shrugged, absentmindedly, only paying half of his attention to Aria's words. The rest of it was focused on her boyfriend. Brown hair and hazel eyes. Definitely not Giglio Nero. Looks young—

Aria, no doubt noticing Genkishi's gaze, stepped in front of her male companion. "Don't tell my mother about this." She hissed defensively.

The swordsman didn't even blink.

"Don't tell her. In exchange, I won't breathe a word about you either."

Genkishi looked away. "Alright."

(Unbeknownst to them, Mammon watched this entire exchange.

He rolled his eyes.

Luce probably already knows. At the very least, she would know about Aria's 'secret' boyfriend.

She most likely also knows about Tsuna(, (un)fortunately).

Mammon frowned.)

.

.

.

"It's been a long time, Mammon." Luce gave a serene smile across her tea table.

The chair on the other side remained empty.

"I know that you are still upset that I didn't tell all of you about the curse." She gently put down her cup. "But I knew from the very beginning that you would all live through it."

Luce could feel the air twitch.

A melancholic smile appeared on her face. "I wasn't expecting myself to live through it, though. For that, I must thank you for breaking the curse. You and your little sky."

This time, it was very obvious that someone was at the table with the boss of the Giglio Nero. A bodyguard stepped forward when he felt the strengthening mist flames.

Luce lifted her hand, silently ordering him to back down. "I know that you no longer trust me, but please believe me when I say that I have nothing more to hide. The trinisette has never been this stable. My contemporary feels the same."

Mammon still did not appear at the implication of Checkerface. Rather, he weakened his flames at the reminder of the person he wants away from Tsuna the most.

"Someday, when I once again have your trust, I hope that you would allow me to meet your sky so I can thank him in person."

Mammon frowned, preparing his flames to whisk himself away.

"Before you leave, let me leave you with a warning of sorts. There is a strong force brewing with ill intent towards the little sky. While I am certain that it will pose no threat to the boy, I believe that you would want to be aware of it. Especially considering how close it is to him."

(Mammon left immediately after Luce picked up her cup. Knowing her, she would not give him any more useful information.

He inwardly sighed.

Prophets.

They were so annoying.

Always acting like they knew everything.

If Tsuna had visions like Luce, then he would surely…

Mammon slowly began to smile, his smile rapidly growing larger and larger.

That boy had strong hyper intuition.

Who says that it couldn't be used to substitute visions.

Mammon is the greatest psychic in the world.

He will turn Tsuna into the same.

Tsuna can surpass Luce.)

.

 _(In a world where Mammon wasn't so petty, he would not have gained the motivation to transform Tsuna into the greatest sky in history._

 _Instead, Tsuna would have become great in his own way, winning one heart at a time.)_

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* * *

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Xanxus was not social by nature.

He appreciated his peace and quiet very much, something that he treasured much more after he started interacting with Iemitsu.

His mentor was not someone he could avoid. The other annoyances in his life, however…

Xanxus glared at the crowd in the room with him.

There was something really irritating at watching the number of kids in the CEDEF grow.

Most of them were quiet and non-destructive.

However, there was a select few that Xanxus would gladly do without. (Specifically Dino and both fanboys. And his brother. He would have much less stress if his brother stayed far away.

(Surprisingly, Xanxus didn't have a problem with Lussuria save for his advances and leers. The sun user did good work.))

Especially right now, when he was trying his best to ignore the noise around him and do his paperwork.

Xanxus had never been patient.

Seconds later, he snapped.

"OI". The External Advisor stood up and gestured all of the kids. "Get out and do something productive for a change."

"Xan-nii?"

"Other than you." Xanxus quickly amended. "You're staying here until Mammon gets back. Enma can stay too." He added at Tsuna's pleading expression.

Iris stood up and crossed her arms at him.

"Yes, I am kicking my fiancé out." Xanxus glared at her. "Why are you even here?"

She glared back. "Because Tsuna is here."

"Let's go on an adventure!" Dino proposed.

Tsuna tilted his head. "What's an 'adventure'?"

"Adventure means, like, when you do great things and go to cool places."

"Oh." The boy nodded thoughtfully. "Like Xan-nii!"

Everyone stopped and stared, wondering how on earth Tsuna linked Xanxus to the word 'adventure'. Even Xanxus did a double take. He doesn't remember doing any great things or going to any cool place. Well, other than going to whatever crazy place Iemitsu had taken Tsuna to practice flying and proceeding to drag the man back home and make him finish his work.

"You're wrong, you're wrong." Dino swatted the idea away. "Nothing like Xanxus. An adventure is more like battles and rescuing and being amazing!"

To Tsuna's childish mind, that still perfectly described Xanxus. But since he was wrong, "so like a fairy… fairy…" The boy lowered his head in deep concentration and pouted. What was that word again? Fairy…

(Un)fortunately, the paper right beneath his gaze happens to be one about the Varia.

Dino's thought process went like this as he followed Tsuna's eyes: Fairy? Fairy… Vary… Varia!

Tsuna's thought process slowly went like this: Fairy… Fairy… tale? Fairy tale? Yes! Fairy tale!

"Like a fairy tale!" The boy looked up, happy that he finally remembered the word. Tsuna blinked, turning to Mammon as he flew into the room. "Where did everyone go?"

The arcobaleno shrugged, laying out various fortune-telling items on the floor. "Don't bother with them."

As for Xanxus, he stretched and eased the tension in his shoulders. Peace at last.

.

 _(In a world where a different document had been under Tsuna, Dino's adventure would cause them to end up in either the Gesso, Mafia land, Verde's lab, or the Cavallone.)_

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.

Life was once normal for Tyr.

Sure he only had one arm, was the sword emperor and led the Varia, but other than that, everything else was relatively average.

Then a bunch of teenagers crashed into his office.

"We are going to take over the Varia!"

Tyr recognized the boy who was slamming both hands on his desk. The Cavallone don's beloved son. He also recognized the boy who was trying to calm the Cavallone boy down. Lancia was a promising warrior and the Varia already had his sights on him. Also with the two were the third Vongola son, the fourth Vongola son's fiancée. As for the others, Tyr was pretty sure they were all associated with the CEDEF but he didn't know their names.

(This assembly explained how they were able to enter Tyr's personal office without being stopped by his elite assassins.

All Federico would need to is wave and smile at them and they would willingly allow him to pass.)

Tyr decided to ignore the screaming Cavallone boy for now. "Signore Federico, what brings you here?"

Federico smiled, camera pointed directly at Tyr's face. "I'm here to watch the chaos."

"We are here for the Varia!" Dino once again tried to slam the desk but was still held back by Lancia. Genkishi gave a large nod.

(Behind them, Iris, Ken, Chikusa, and Bianchi were admiring the artifacts in the display cases like they were wandering around in a museum.

The only reason why they were here was because Iris was asked by her fiancé to watch over Lancia, who was only here because he was too kind-hearted and actually concerned about Dino's safety. (Bless his soul.)

One of Xanxus' biggest fears was for something to happen to Lancia and Lal going mama-bear over him.)

Tyr looked confounded. "Are you challenging me to a duel for ownership of the Varia?"

Despite Xanxus and Squalo thinking otherwise, Dino did have some sense of self-preservation.

He at least knew enough to not brazenly challenge the leader of the Varia to a duel over the assassination group.

He didn't, however, know that his childish dreams of taking over an organization for his little Tonno-chan would have lasting consequences, especially when he had fully convinced Tsuna's fanboy #1 that defeating the sword emperor was one of the many trials that Genkishi needed to fulfill in the name his god.

Genkishi challenged Tyr without a second thought.

Tyr single-handedly defeated him.

(Pun intended.)

…

Back when he was still with the Giglio Nero, Genkishi was renown for being the best swordsman in his former famiglia.

He had never lost in his entire life.

That was until he challenged Tyr.

"I need to grow stronger." Genkishi kept mumbling under his breath. The teenager had invaded the library and began searching the shelves.

And then he stumbled upon it.

Information about the hell rings.

…

"No." Mammon immediately stated, visibly frowning on Tsuna's shoulder. "Hell rings must be avoided."

Tsuna gave Genkishi a determined frown. "No. Because mama says no."

"But Tonno-heika," Genkishi whined. "I need to get stronger."

(The abdominal nickname was derived from Dino's Tonno-chan, who gladly replaced it with Genkishi's 'respective' version.

There was a rule perpetuated by Iemitsu that everyone was forbidden to address Tsuna by name outside of the inner rooms of the CEDEF.

The only exception to the rule was Nana.

Everyone eventually adopted Tsuna's 'nickname' for the sake of consistency, though there was still a large multitude of variations floating around.)

Tsuna pouted. "Mama says no." Slightly irritated that Genkishi refuses to blindly trust Mammon's words, Tsuna made a show of turning away from his fanboy and continuing his walk down the street, dragging Enma with him.

Unsurprisingly, Enma tripped.

"Hie! Enma!" Tsuna tried his best to rescue his friend from the pavement. His efforts managed to roll them into a nearby bush. "Are you ok?"

"I-I think I am…" Enma examined his hands. "I'm ok. Thank you Tsu-Tonno-heika… Tsu-Tonno-heika?"

Tsuna was staring at something in the bush. He reached inside and took it out. "Mama, what is this?"

Mammon opened his mouth, blinked twice to confirm that it was indeed the Ossa Impressione Hell Ring in his charge's hands, and opened his palm. "Give it to me."

Tsuna obeyed. Or he would have obeyed had Genkishi not recognized the hell ring and graciously accepted (stole) it.

"It must be fate." The fanboy gave Tsuna a glowing smile. "Thank you, Tonno-heika. I will complete my mission."

"W-wait!" Tsuna cried out. He tried to lunge for the ring but the other man was both much larger and faster than Tsuna.

Genkishi dodged the boy and put on the ring.

"Give it back!"

Tsuna watched in horror as Genkishi began to transform into a skeleton. That probably wasn't a good thing.

"Yes! I feel it. The power!" The skeleton breathed. It ran off.

"Hmm… that's troubling." Mammon settled on Tsuna's shoulder. "That is a hell ring. The fact that he turned into a skeleton means that he doesn't have control of it."

"What, what do we do?!"

"Your father and Xanxus are in a meeting," Mammon sighed. "Muu… How troublesome. I'm going to call Iris and the others. He's probably headed for the Varia."

"Mama, where is the Varia?"

…

"Genkishi!" Tsuna cried as he flew down from the sky. He quickly put down Enma and Mammon to the side of Genkishi and Tyr's duel and immediately flew towards them to stop it.

"Tsuna-kun!" Enma tried to follow Tsuna but was held back by Mammon.

"He will be fine."

As if to prove Mammon's point, Tsuna entered what he later learnt was the hyper dying will mode and threw a fiery punch at Genkishi's sword in attempts to dislodge the weapon.

It wasn't very effective, though it did give Tyr to reposition himself.

(He was quite surprised when a flaming skeleton suddenly charged out from the forest while he was taking a morning stroll but managed to defend himself quite well regardless. (In fact, if the skeleton wasn't a skeleton, he would have won the fight a long time ago.)

This boy with sky flamed wings, however, came as more of a surprise.

The upper Vongola echelon should have knowledge on every single sky flame wielder. This boy was most certainly not one of them.

Well, there was one other possibility why Tyr doesn't know about the boy.

He might be a hidden Vongola heir.

He probably is too, considering how much he resembles Vongola Primo.)

"Remove the ring from his hand." Mammon floated over and settled himself on Tsuna's shoulder. "Genkishi will go back to normal if he loses the ring."

Tsuna gave a very determined nod and once again aimed a punch at the skeleton.

By now, everyone else had trickled in, arriving in time to watch Tsuna in all of his glory.

The boy threw another punch to the skeleton.

This time, the skeleton flailed back in attempts to dodge it.

In the process, it (un)fortunately lopped off Tyr's arm.

The arm fell to Tsuna.

Naturally, Tsuna freaked out about the loose limb and flung it away from him in reflex like a hot potato.

Coincidentally, the arm hit the skeleton's hand and somehow managed to dislodge the ring.

The ring fell to the ground.

(Of course, Federico caught it all on tape. That footage ended up in the hands of Iemitsu, who monumented it.)

Both Genkishi and Tyr crumbled to the grown, one knocked out from the hell ring and the other in pain from losing his arm.

(Tyr instantly used his sun flames to prevent himself from bleeding out. He already had experience of losing an arm and knew exactly what to do in this sort of situation.)

Mammon quickly flew over and took the ring. He will try to analyze what has happened later. First, damage control.

"Allow me to remove the hell ring from Tsunayoshi's presence."

Mammon didn't even blink when a black portal opened in mid air and Bermuda stuck his head out of it. Instead, he nonchalantly put the ring in the ex-arcobaleno's palm.

(Sure it was kind of creepy that Bermuda knew the exact moment to appear, but Mammon essentially does the same thing all the time.

And Mammon doesn't have a habit of being the pot calling the kettle black.)

After gaining the Ossa Impressione, Bermuda went back into the black portal and closed it like nothing happened.

Well, that's one issue resolved.

Now for the more difficult one.

Tsuna was still freaking out about the arm.

Mammon floated over to his still screaming charge and pressed his hand on Tsuna's forehead. "Close your eyes."

The child immediately did what he was told.

"Dada's going to put the ring in a safe place. There is nothing to be worried about. This is also enough 'adventure' for today. I've called Xanxus. He's going to come pick us up."

"B-but the arm…"

"What arm?" Mammon let go of Tsuna, dropped to the ground and picked up the arm. He once again placed his palm on the child's forehead. "Open your eyes."

Tsuna opened his eyes. He flinched when he saw what his mama was holding.

"This is a fake arm. Look at him." Tsuna turned his head to look at Tyr.

Tyr looked down as well and suddenly found himself with two arms for the first time in decades.

"See, the man still has his arms. This one is a fake."

To prove his point, Mammon wiggled the arm in his hand. It flopped around like a rubber chicken.

(That was all a lie. A powerful illusion.

In a normal situation, Tsuna would easily see through his illusion using the power of his hyper intuition.

However, he was currently under distress from having witnessed someone lose their limb so he was much more susceptible to illusions.

As added insurance, Mammon placed the illusion directly into his mind.)

And that was the scene that Xanxus stumbled upon when he finally arrived to pick up Tsuna.

He saw Tyr lying next to a pool of blood and Mammon playing with the now armless man's missing appendage.

Xanxus merely blinked. That was not nearly the weirdest thing he has seen (thanks to his beloved mentor).

The other kids were largely reacting the same way (most probably also thanks to his beloved mentor), save for Tsuna.

Tsuna was trembling slightly. He gladly ran towards Xanxus the moment Mammon prompted him to do so, Enma trailing behind him.

(Xanxus was really glad that Tsuna was freaking out.

It meant that he is still pure and hasn't been corrupted by Iemitsu. Or mafia. But mostly Iemitsu.)

The boy quickly buried his head into Xanxus' jacket, dragging Enma inside with him.

Xanxus patted both children on the back and lifted his head to address the leader of the Varia. "Tyr."

"Signore Xanxus." Tyr greeted, still too dazed from the shock to wonder what he was doing here. "Those youngsters seem to wish to take over the Varia and—"

"Yes."

Tyr blinked.

Xanxus covered Tsuna's ears. "Fuck yes. Have them. Have them all."

Federico hummed, putting his camera down for the first time. "Aww, you want to get rid of us that badly, baby brother?"

Xanxus glared at him.

Iris walked to her fiancé, lifted her hand and lowered his chin. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"A full laboratory." She shifted her eyes to Federico's direction briefly. "Better than his."

Xanxus narrowed his eyes. "…Where?"

Iris paused, considering. "Here."

"Prevent them from doing anything stupid." Them being specifically Ken, Chikusa and Lancia. The people that Xanxus weren't desperately trying to be rid of.

She let go of his chin, patting Tsuna's hair before she took her hand back. "Of course."

Iris turned around to address the rest of her group. "Xanny wants us to… finish our 'adventure' at the Varia. So we will, alright?"

They all nodded except for Federico. Patiently, everyone pressured the Vongola son with a long gaze.

Federico finally gave in and relented with a bright smile. "That's fine, but I am not going to be the boss."

Both Iris and Xanxus gave him a deadpanned look. "You're a sky. You won't take orders from anyone."

"Unless they are also a sky." Federico took a step backward and turned on his camera. "And there happens to be another sky right here."

Iris blinked, took a glance at Dino, then turned to Xanxus.

The External Advisor gave an unwavering stare to the bane of his existence.

(Evidently, he was weighing the potential downfall of the Varia if it was led by Dino compared to his own future wellbeing if Dino (and Federico) stuck around at CEDEF.)

He turned to stare at Tyr.

(The man has always been a background figure in his life, whether it was in the mansion when he still lived with his father or at meetings with the upper echelon of Vongola.

Xanxus never thought badly of the leader of the Varia but…

Sorry Tyr, you aren't important enough to me.

Good luck.

My condolences.)

Xanxus then turned to Mammon.

Mammon stared back. After a while, he frowned.

Xanxus relaxed. "Thanks." With that, he walked away from the Varia, still carrying a very confused Tsuna in his arms and Enma following behind them.

(If he stays any longer, he might regret his decision of sending the Varia and Tyr into the land of no return.)

After Xanxus left with the two boys, Mammon floated forward to start the cleanup.

"Tyr. I have 2 deals for you. First, I'll reattach that," the former mist arcobaleno gestured to the direction of Tyr's fallen limb, "if you forget everything that just happened. You do not know any Tonnos. Tuna is only a fish. Understand?"

Mammon received a nod. He floated down and stuck the arm back to Tyr's body. A quick flick of mist flames later and the arm was sewn back on, skin, tendon, flesh and bone.

The arcobaleno flicked the blood off his hands. "Good. Second," He pointed to the kids (who have remained mostly silent during this whole ordeal since the severing of the limb) "if they are trained to Varia standard before your death or retirement, Dino Cavallone will succeed the Varia."

This time, Tyr gave a long pause before reluctantly nodding.

(It is not a good idea to disagree with Mammon.

Who know what blackmail he might have on him.)

…

"What do you need, Viper?"

"It's Mammon now." The former mist arcobaleno replied, mostly out of habit. "I'm calling up a favour."

The other arcobaleno gave an annoyed sounding grunt. "…Which is?"

Mammon didn't even twitch his lips. "Teaching the next generation."

"…What? Why me?"

"You know Dino Cavallone? Well, circumstances have changed and I need him whipped into Varia quality. He's going to be the next boss of the Varia."

"Again, why me?"

The psychic continued to ignore him. "Train the others too. They are already managing their own training but they could always use some help."

"You should be asking Colonello or Fon instead. I don't teach."

Mammon turned to him. "I'm asking you for a favour, Reborn."

Reborn shadowed his eyes under his fedora. He owes Mammon for a lifetime. All of the arcobaleno do. There is no way he could refuse this request. However… "At least tell me your reasons."

"Colonello and Fon won't be able to train the Cavallone boy. You'll understand when you see him. As for the others, they are too different from the students that those two are familiar with. You are much more versatile. And," Mammon hesitated slightly. "I need you to stop being Vongola Nono's most trusted assassin."

"I see." And indeed he did. Timoteo would not take Reborn ignoring his calls well unless Reborn has a very good reason. Training the Vongola's assassination squad is a very good reason to give Nono while still maintaining his status as a Vongola ally.

(This would also keep him out of Mammon's way.

While Reborn isn't the type to listen to others blindly, there is an implicit trust shared amongst the arcobaleno.

One that was strengthened even more after their curse magically disappeared.

(If he stuck around, he may learn of the story behind that magical moment that the former mist arcobaleno is strangely tight lipped about.)

Besides, tortu— I mean teaching someone Colonnello or Fon won't be able to handle seems fun.

Really fun.

Sadistically fun.)

.

 _(In a world where Dino doesn't kidnap Tsuna, he does not become Reborn's pet student.)_

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* * *

 **AN: Well here comes Reborn and Enma. Reborn was expected, Enma was added in part way. That is probably why I ended up with a massive chapter. Sigh. Hopefully, my next chapter isnt as long and as difficult to write. I've recently realized that if my story followed a logical timeline, it doesn't work. So I decided to forget about it. :) Byakuran- I have plans for him. He's going to meet Xanxus someday and it's going to be great. Question: Mukuro first or Chrome first?**

 **Thank you for reading~**

 **Next time:** Tsuna accidentally "kills" someone.


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